Well, I am supposed to get moving our stuff out of the basement, and out altogether, and I am having the most difficult time getting to it all.  Dill and Mo are constantly needing attention and hugs and band aids or food.  I just cannot seem to get my tasks done...ever.  Dill is such a little cutie, but when she and Mo head out the door, and I think that I might accomplish something, she is bawling that she has been bit by an ant, or that she has a sticker in her heel.  Yeah, it is that impossible.
     Ryan and Ammon were also moved to a facility in Seattle, Washington for whatever reason. This has made zero sense in my book, but they were together, in a prison, and Ryan had his first piece of real meat since January.  They were kinda content (well as content as one can expect) for a second, but now they have sat there for over a week, and they have deadlines looming in the Nevada case.  Everything has been held up down here since day one, and it is high time that we get something moving down here.  Honestly...just let them come home.  I am tired of being a single mom.
     So, the days have just kind of flown by.  We have had a couple of interesting incidents though.  Last week, I went to get Dill ready for shrsh.  She had been flitting about the house in a diaper, and she had her cute little braids finished, but I needed to stick a pretty dress on her.  She had made an odd sound as she wandered about the house, and yet, I did not think a ton of it.  Well, when I went to change her diaper, it was full of change.  I am grateful that Dill was trying to be prepared with a little extra money, but I cannot imagine that all of that money was very comfortable, weighing her diaper down and all.  I am grateful that she is saving her pennies.
     Another thing that happened, was that Mo got another toothache.  When he came bawling to me about his tooth, I literally about went outside to bang my head against the wall.  I mean, we have been to a bazillion dentist appointments...what in the world is it going to take to get all of those dumb teeth fixed??  Luckily, we had an appointment in a few days, and I was able to get him in.  The problem was, I had forgotten who had the cavities, and who, besides Mo, needed the follow up appointment.  I interviewed the kids...Jerusha knew she was one, and Sage...Oak wasn't sure, but I felt like he was definitely on the list, and then Jamie had missed the check up altogether, and so I knew she was on the list.  I know that I have explained the dentist appointments before, but they usually cancel all of their appointments and clear their office, just for us.  So, no one else was in the office, and right in the middle of them fighting over the VCR with either their primates movie, or their ABC movie...and Dill was wanting to run around and squeal, a radio program called to have me on their show.  One of my biggest problems is, I agree to be on these radio shows and then I forget all about it until they call.  Anyhow, I was struggling to keep my mind open to the spirit, as I was asked questions about the court case and the outcome of our lengthy trial, and chase Mo around the dental office, where he is trying to remove paintings from the wall.  He and Oak were also sliding down the bannisters and Dill was running around wildly and loudly.  Luckily they started moving kids in and out of the dentist chair, and one by one their teeth were getting fixed.  The chasing kids and radio show came to an end, and we sat there and sat there waiting for them to call Oak back.  Finally I went and asked what was going on because hey, we are their only appointment at the moment, and she admitted that Oak did not need any dental work done.  Chloee on the other hand did, and I had sent her to school.  It was another one of those shining Mom moments...I had brought the wrong kid to the dental appointment.  Brilliant. 
     Dill and Mo seem like my biggest obstacle for accomplishing anything.  If I need to write a letter to Ryan, I get a million distractions from them.  They want to be involved and in the middle of everything I do.

     Today, I am a basket case.  I cannot handle the fact that the fate of my husband and our little family rests upon 12 complete strangers from Portland, Oregon.  I am trying so hard to have faith and to settle my doubts, but if he is not acquitted, I am not sure that I can handle it.  I need to pray for strength.
     So, I spent all week last week in Portland at trial.  My family all kind of took turns with Moroni and Dill, and my older ones were left here, and had Grandma checking on them...and many others who just stepped in and helped, even though they were not even asked.  Joy Haviland came over every morning, and did my dishes, and laundry and made sure that the kids made it to the bus.  There was one morning when Rooshkie missed the bus, and Joy drove her in.  She also cleaned my microwave, dishwasher, and just knowing she was here, brought me a lot of peace of mind while I was away.  My mom also gave me a ride to the airport on Monday morning.  It was a beautiful and slightly overcast day in Las Vegas (such a rarity) as I flew up to Portland.  The weather in Portland was chill and the weather turned from bad to worse during the days I was up there.
     Thanks to Jeff's employment, I was able to get a nice room for a good rate, and using public transit, we could make it to the courthouse and jail in 20 min or so.  The bad thing was, the hotel was right around the corner from a large and spacious park.  The park was obviously home to a very dangerous looking gang.  We could skirt around the park, but it was still kinda scary.  I arrived earlier than Lisa, and told her I would meet her at the Max stop when she arrived.  We then rode the max into the courthouse to gauge the amount of time it would take.  Anyhow...I was very grateful for the less expensive room.  Last time our room cost us close to a thousand dollars.  We had about decided to just bring sleeping bags and just join the countless others that sleep on the streets of Portland.  A shower is nice though, and the streets of Portland are extremely scary.
     We ended up in court most of the time that we were up there, and Lisa and I begged for extra visits at the jail, which, they agreed to a few before they said no more.  Those visits with Ryan with a glass in between us, mean a ton to me.  It is worth the whole trip and all of the trouble. 
     While I was still sitting at the airport in Vegas, Ryan tried to talk me out of coming up.  He explained that to see me across the room without being able to speak or touch was torture, and that it always upset him greatly when I flew home without him.  I still felt like it was important for him, the jury, and our children to see that I supported him, and that I was coming.  When I arrived, he said that he actually needed me to testify.  I was like WHAT??? What happened to not even wanting me to show up?  I was able to get on the stand the next day, and even though his questioning was brief, I hope that at least the jury was able to see that he was a wife and kids who love him and need him.  Court is so extremely difficult to say the least.  The judge is so obviously and blatantly biased that it is unreal.  She doesn't even try to hide it.  She explains to the prosecutors some good things to say and do in front of the jury, and she also apologizes to them when she lets any of our evidence in.  She explains that the only reason that she is letting the evidence in, is because she believes it will do us more harm than good.  It is pretty unbelievable.  Even the liberal press has taken note of her outrage at the defense in court.  It is very disheartening to witness a judge try to railroad your husband to prison. 
    Briana actually came up the next morning and spent the rest of the time with us.  She always spices things up and it was good to have her.  Trial took its toll on all of us though, and it is difficult not to get emotional.  This really is a nightmare.
     We ended up meeting Rusty Hammond which was a very humbling and powerful experience for me.  I knew when I hugged him that my husband had been right in standing up for his family.  I knew it beyond any doubts, and I still know it today.  I cannot help how I feel, and I was grateful for that witness.
     The flight home was uneventful, but I cannot help but cry every time I leave him up there.  I rode the shuttle home and Wames picked me up in town.  My parents and brothers took good care of my babies...I will include some pictures that they sent. 
     Since then I have dealt with the kids and their shenanigans.  I am so nervous though, and I have seen myself be kinda short with them.  I have fasted for a few days, and it is so difficult when your whole fate and world is out of your control.  I have several kids fasting with me today too.  It is nerve wracking.
     Mo came up with a brilliant scheme the other day.  He found a pair of Chloee's underwear that had a string loose.  He thought it made for a great kite.  He ran back and forth and round and round the house with it in an attempt to "launch" the underwear.  I cannot say that it worked, but it made for great entertainment for he and Dill for a whole day.
     I also found a note on a can of opened beans in the fridge.  It said "Oak's Beans...do not tak or else you r gonna get it"  I am quite confused by all of this because I believe that Oak and Mo are the only ones who even like beans.  I used to make beans all the time, but the girls complain about them and won't eat them, and so I don't make them much any more.  Oak, however, loves to make himself burritos with them, and yet he is the only one that does this.   I believe his beans will go on being there for his next burrito without any thefts.
     Mo has also been hungry at all times.  It does not matter that if I feed him a large and spacious lunch, he is hungry in five minutes.  Yesterday, I was kind of drifting off to sleep as I was getting Dill down, ( I haven't been sleeping so well) and he came in and asked me for seven white chocolate chips...he begged and begged for exactly that until I counted seven out and let them drop one by one in his hand.  That kept him full for about a nanosecond before he was begging for something else entirely.
    I have had another issue added to my plate of unpleasantness.  Poor Rooshkie has had a problem with a tooth that was broken off years ago.  Years ago, while we were still living in Cedar, she was riding her bike and she ran into a fence.  It was terrible.  Her front tooth (which was brand new at the time) was broken in half and I could've cried forever over that one.  It was a huge tragedy, so I ran her into the dentist the next day.  He put a temporary crown on and advised me to make sure that she was really easy on it.  He was hopeful that what was left of her tooth was still alive, and that he could just put a permanent crown on it at some point.  Well, we were doing fine and dandy...in fact, I had forgotten all about the temporary crown until Oak knocked her in the mouth at church the other day.  It knocked the temporary loose and so, she tearfully asked me to call the dentist so we could get it fixed.  Because of closing aruguments and jury deliberations, I have been on my phone far too often, and I forgot to call for several days.  In a way, that is a huge mom-fail on my part.  She begged me every day not to forget...and then I would forget.  After about three or four days, I finally called, explained the situation, and yet the assistant claimed she could not get me in until the following Tuesday.  This...upset my Rooshkie a ton.  I felt responsible too...I had failed to call and push for an appointment earlier in the week.
     On a side note...a bunch of Rooshkie's friends, had a trip planned to the spooky corn maze in St. George.  It was something that the group had done for years, and she was so excited to be included.  Well, on Friday morning...the day of the corn maze and school etc. poor Jerusha came crying in my room because sometime during the night, the tooth had fallen out completely and was in pieces.  Great...a huge amount of guilt swept over me as I tried to console her, and figure out how I was going to fix this one.  I immediately called the dentist, because if I can somehow talk to the dentist...he always helps me.  Getting passed his secretary is a trick sometimes, but he is always willing to help me no matter when.  In fact...he must be on the high council, because he asked me if I could possibly get him out of giving his speech, ha ha!  He has been great, but unfortunately...they are not in the office on Friday's and I had lost his home number, and it was not listed anywhere.  I ran her into a dentist in Mesquite...he wanted almost $2,000 to fix it, and I just cannot justify that kind of money at this time.  I knew that our regular dentist would charge less than half of that.  So, I apologized and felt like crying with her.  We went home, and I knew that I just somehow had to fix it so that she could go to the corn maze.  Well, I found a product online that helps you build a temporary crown so that you can make it over a weekend, until a trip to the dentist could be arranged.  I was so excited that I could possibly fix the problem.  I left the babies with her and drove in to the pharmacy.  The did not carry the product and I felt like crying.  We live in a small town, and there isn't a ton of options. 
     The next actions that I am about to tell you reflect my desperation to fix it somehow.  As a sidebar, I just need to tell you that I was on complete pins and needles at this time just because the jury had yet to reach a decision, and I knew that they would begin deliberations on Monday.  It is a completely horrifying and unsettling feeling.  I was in agony and fear at all times wondering what was going to happen to my life's partner.  I had such an overwhelming sense of how completely out of my control this whole situation was.  The tooth problem was just another aspect I wanted to somehow fix.  Anyhow, that might explain my next actions for a bit.  So, with that being said, I knew that it was Halloween time, and that I could maybe find something in the costume section to help me.  I am aware that bridges are purchased all the time for beauty pageants and I thought that perhaps I could buy something that would buy me time until I could get her into her dentist.  They had no bridges of any kind, and really, when I think about it, I am sure that is something that would have to be created by a dentist, but they did have some realistic looking teeth that fit over incisors that would make someone look like a vampire.  Yes...I stooped that low.  I did, and I feel really sheepish admitting it at this time.  I went home, and she was feeling pretty sad.  She did not want to go to the corn maze without a crown on her front tooth.  She saw the vampire teeth and could not believe what I was thinking.  I got them out of the package and began melting them on the stove so I could reshape them into a normal-ish crown.  Jerusha stared at me in disbelief and could not believe what I was doing.  They still looked awful, and unrealistic, and I figured it was a lost cause...until I looked in the package with the vampire teeth...and included with those babies was the exact product I had seen on the internet...they were hard beads that could be melted down, and shaped into a temporary crown until the dentist could be seen...wow...I was thrilled with that discovery.  We made a temporary with success and she was able to attend her fun and spooky corn maze with her friends.  Somehow God even sees to my odd requests.  The next day the tooth became infected which led to a whole new set of problems.  On Monday, I drove her into the dentist and just told them that I was desperate and needed them to fix it...they began doing just that right away, and told me that I would have to come back tomorrow too.
     So...during this whole time, I was really on edge.  I was trying to have faith, but I was so nervous about the jury and what they could possibly be coming up with.  That morning Ned Mikkelsen showed up.  He is the owner of the home that I have been staying in, and I know that I need to move on.  He and his wife have been back from their mission for a few months, and they have been drifting around because I am still in their home.  We skyped with his wife and they let me know that it would be ok if I stayed in the upper two levels, as long as they could move back into the basement.  This would buy me a little more time.  Carol also stopped by, and told me that I could possibly move into Grandma's single wide until I could get my home sold and buy something.  The thoughts of moving...so overwhelming, but the Mikkelsen's have not only gone the extra mile, they have gone an extra hundred million miles to help me.  It is time to get out of their home now that they are off of their mission.  That was weighing on my mind, along with the fact that the jury was deliberating, and Ned had shot a deer, and needed me to clean a freezer out...and Sags had a game that afternoon...her last home game.  I was about ready to break with all of the stress.  Also, the home in Cedar is under contract, and hopefully will sell, but it has also left me feeling completely lost and homeless.  Jerusha had bawled for about five days with her absessed tooth, and Ryan was a nervous wreck when he would call.  Anyhow, as soon as I hit St George I received a flood of text messages.  Kelli let me know that the jury had some questions, and she was heading downtown.  Ryan also emailed me to let me know that they were meeting with the jury.  I was so nervous.  Lisa then texted me a frantic text and let me know that the jury was wondering if they could find some of the defendants guilty, but not others.  I almost went off of the road...literally.  A conviction?  Five years or more in prison?  Not to mention what it would do to the Nevada case.  I was shaking and crying as I pulled into the dentist office.  My parents wanted to meet me in St George because they had a birthday gift for Dill.  (Yes on top of everything else, Dill was turning 2 the next day). My mom saw me crying and I just told them that Ryan was probably going to be convicted.  I could only imagine that if anyone was going to get convicted it would be him, even though they had broken no laws.  The Government has it out for the Bundy family...the mere fact that his last name is "Bundy" could mean a conviction.  Anyhow she hugged me and told me that it would all be ok.  I looked at her dumbfounded and that it would absolutely not be ok.  Raising eight kids alone was not ok, not to mention Ryan having to sit in prison for years.  No...none of it was ok at all.  I sobbed and cried and tried not to freak out. 
     All of this going on, while Jerusha was needing a root canal.  I went in and tried to get her settled, and thank goodness that my parents were there to take my kids to a little park across the street.  I was trying so hard not to just have a complete melt down.  When I came back out, I got reading the reports, and it wasn't as cut and dry as what Lisa had thought.  There was a juror, who was asking a question.  Apparently, one of the jurors had worked for the BLM and had admitted first thing, that he was biased.  They had reached a decision with three of the defendants, but were deadlocked on the others, because of this juror.  Anyhow, so all of this came up, and the judge began questioning juror number 11.  This was the one that worked for the BLM.  Anyhow, Judge Brown saw no reason to get rid of him.  He was still the same guy who had claimed he could be fair months ago during jury selection.  Ryan apparently fought her back when they were picking the jury, and had protested when she asked the same rinky dink questions that she had asked him before.  He claimed that nothing had changed because the man was obviously biased then, and biased now.  Questions of a mistrial loomed, but the judge felt that they should just continue their deliberations with juror 11 included.  She explained that unless the defense came up with a really good reason to replace him with an alternate, they would just have to continue as planned.
     In the back of my mind, I knew that these were prayers being answered.  According to the defense attorneys...this was something they had never seen before.  To have a juror snitch on another juror was unheard of.  Juror number 4 had been brave to report what he had.  I could see God's hand, and it gave me a ton of peace.  I wanted to feel at peace...it only made sense that the jury was wanting to be merciful because no damage had been done.  They wouldn't be arguing if they all wanted a conviction.  I got Jerusha fixed up, thanked my parents for being there to still my fears, and drove back home. 
     Sags did awesome in her game!  She was put in when they were losing, which had not been done before, and she had some great hits.  They won their game, and I was thrilled for her.  Ryan was also very optimistic when he called too.  The days events had started an obvious miracle, and he felt very good about the remaining jurors.  They were going to work hard to get juror 11 excused so that the rest could continue without his biased views. 
     So, the next day rolls around.  Jerusha felt up for school, which was great.  I knew I needed to fast for the juror to be removed, and I was praying that the new one would see the truth.  After meeting with everyone in the courtroom, I believe it was determined that this particular juror had also seen LaVoy's shooting from the helicopter video.  The jurors were supposed to be untainted.  This got him excused...I as so relieved.  Juror 18 replaced him, and she was out of the area, and so deliberations would be resumed the next day.  The Lord was working.  I was still nervous, but hopeful.
     On Thursday, the kids had their Halloween carnival and they were so excited to get dressed up and go.  Sags also had to go take pictures of the soccer game for the yearbook.  She asked me to drive her in as soon as Rooshkie got home.  On the way into town, the messages started pinging again.  The jury had a question, and possibly a verdict.  I was so nervous.  A basket case.  I wanted to go bury my head in the sand, or go in the temple and shut the door.  It was so difficult to deal.  I dropped Sags off, and just wanted to get home to pray.  I wanted to hit my knees and not get back up.  I finally pulled over and found a spot by myself in the desert.  I pled with the Lord to realize that I had brought all of these kids into the world because I had a great partnership with my husband.  I needed him home so bad.  I begged and pleaded that God would deliver him, and that I would somehow deal with the outcome.  I was halfway home when Sags called me.  She explained that she had only needed to take six pictures, and was done, and needed me to come back and get her.  I was freaking out.  I frantically called the house and instructed Jerusha to kneel with the little ones and pray.  I asked my brothers and parents to pray, and I prayed with all of my might as I drove back to get Sage.  I kept checking my email to see what Ryan had to say.  He claimed that they could not come to terms on one of the charges, but had decided on everything else.  I was a basket case.  As soon as I drove into the drive way,  my elementary kids were coming off of the bus.  I ran over and told them to kneel.  I asked each of them to pray in turn, and I also had Mo and Jerusha and Sage pray.  When I got back up to the house, I got Ryan's email...not guilty for all defendants on all counts.  They were hung on the theft of the camera only.  I felt like a huge burdensome weight was lifted. I was so elated I could not even fathom what had just come through.  I went in the house and immediately the phone began ringing off the hook.  I was on with the LA Times when Mo came in bawling about his Tiger costume.  They were still wanting to attend the Halloween Carnival???  I had been trying to gut out the kitchen so I could move everything out of the basement, and I needed a shower bad!! Anyhow, as always....Dawn showed up and told me she would take the kids to the carnival.  I could shower and come over if I felt like it.  We stuck costumes on everyone, and I couldn't get off the phone. 
     Since then, I have been so excited I can't calm down.  I know in my heart it is almost over.  Ryan's dream came to pass, and like our blessings stated...Ryan will be coming home soon!

     Ok....so just a few updates.  We have been praying and fasting because Ammon is supposed to take the stand today.  I know that he will speak the truth boldly.  I am grateful that we can pray.  I really think that God is the only way out of this whole situation.  I am looking forward to hearing what happens, and I wish I could be up there.
     We have also had a few conflicts brewing around here.  Jerusha asked for a pair of skates for her birthday.  I had heard that the Haviliand's had some roller skates because they had been previous owners of a skating rink.  Anyhow, I asked and she just gave me a pair.  They became a real hit around here, and the kids were begging Jerusha non-stop to borrow her skates.  Finally, I knocked my pride down a bit, and asked if we could possibly have a few more pairs.  They were eager to see them get some use, and so I grabbed a pair for Oak and Jazz.  They have been a million miles on those dum things.
     Then, Jerusha came home from school yesterday, and was determined to make a treat.  She got out a chocolate cake mix, and made a batch of cake mix sandwich cookies with vanilla frosting in the centers.  Kind of like homemade Oreo cookies.  Well, she had the whole house smelling fabulous with a brownie-like aroma, and just like that, the cookies disappeared.  No one got any mind you, she whisked them away into some undisclosed location, and everyone was just kinda left wanting one.  She was kind enough to give the kids the extra frosting, and they all gathered around on the floor to eat frosting while I was out of the room.  I was able to clean the frosting mess up later, but I am still curious about those cookies.  Where are they, and who are they for?  I will have to investigate, but I suspect she has baked them for a boy or something of that sort.  I am praying for her today, because she is trying out for the drill team.  I cannot say that I appreciate the frosting mess she created by handing the kids a bowl of frosting.
     We also had homecoming last week...we went to the parade and walked away with a ton of candy.  Briana told me that if we were on the first corner of the parade, everyone was all eager to share their candy and throw it at the kids.  She was right.  Sage was on the Volleyball float, Wams danced with the drill team, Rooshkie was with the student council, and she rode her skates through the parade, and Jazz danced with her dance team.  I was so exhausted after all of the parade preparation, and then juggling kids at the parade, and then trying to locate kids after it, that I thought about ordering pizza...but, I am just trying so hard to watch expenses...anyhow, someone in my ward must have just known, and when I got home, a kind family had a few pizzas waiting for me.  I cannot say enough about the people of this valley, and their desires to serve my family and I.  I truly hope that I can be as sensitive to other people when they are in need.  Anyhow, Rooshkie, again wore a jersey that I about had hear attacks over.  This one was white, and I told everyone that they were not allowed to even breathe on it.  It looked way nice, and way expensive, and it was from the same young man that wanted her to wear his jersey last year.  Maybe I should ask him for a cookie....it only makes sense.  Anyhow, the bulldogs won their homecoming, and Jamie had fun on her date.  She got ready at Falen's and Derrick was way better than I was at being intimidating.
     Mo woke up this morning, and was all bright eyed.  He came down the stairs and informed me that he had a dream that I was a nice mom that just allowed him to eat chips all day.  Dream on Mo boy is all I have to say to that one.  And I am way nice, even if chips aren't ok to eat 24/7.  Mo has also got all of these plans and dreams about his birthday.  He is constantly telling me of his birthday plans, even though, his birthday is six months away.  He has his cake picked out, and has a lot of ideas to share with me about gifts he desires.  It is going to be one spectacular event, if he has anything to do about it
     Chlo's desires to sleep in my room have taken a bizarre turn.  She has taken a stack of boxes of diapers to make her own bed with.  I had mistakenly clicked on a link on amazon that automatically sent a box of diapers to my door once a month, and we accumulated a nice stack before I figured it out...anyhow, Chlo had been sleeping at the bottom of my bed, at my feet.  But, she often got kicked in that position, and so she decided to give the box of diapers a whirl.  She lined them out neatly, and slept on them with blankets for several nights.  Last night, I was a little puzzled, when she took a barstool, turned it sideways, and filled it with Dilly's shoes, and wrapped it in a blanket.  She also had a cup of dried boo berry cereal in case she got hungry.  These items were all within reach, along with her sparkle pets.  Her bed looks terribly uncomfortable, and so I wasn't surprised when, once again, she ended up in my bed...never mind the fact that she has a perfectly good, and empty bunk bed just across the hall that she and Rooshkie share.
     There is also some eyebrow craze that the girls have been following to some degree.  I have watched them look at youtube tutorials on the latest and best ways to make your eyebrows look fabulous.  All of this has led Dill to do some odd things.  Yesterday she took a pen, and did some nice bold strokes in the middle of her forehead.  She then proceeded to walk next door to our one and only neighbors home, and remove all of her clothes.  She had fun playing in their yard, naked and with her painted on whiskers/eyebrows, until she got caught.  I am grateful there is a lot of us to keep an eye on Dill because I think she is kinda confused.  I can honestly say that Moroni has not been the best example at keeping his clothing on either.  One day when Jerusha was about Dill's age, I sent her down to my mothers.  She was with her older siblings, and my mom only lived a few houses away.  I walked them across the street, and I knew they would make it at that point.  Well, by the time they arrived, Rooshkie had not a stitch of clothes on.  None...she had removed her clothes, and my mom had thought that I had sent her down the street naked.  When I got the call (which was only a few minutes after the girls had left) my mom and I met and tried to figure out what she had done with her clothes.  We never did figure it out.  Needless to say that all of the kids have done this to one degree or another.  Poor Dill...I had to go get her, and ruin her fun.

     Ok...so my last few posts have been about court, and Ryan, and so now it is time to do an update on the kids and all of their shenaigans.  School started on August 29th? maybe...around that time anyway.  We also had several birthdays that we celebrated in the month that I need to discuss as well.       Dill has also reached a point where she is constantly dumping stuff...I really don't enjoy the dumping phase, and with each kid, I swear it gets worse.  Dill also seems to be able to locate a tube of red lipstick no matter how much we try to hide them from her.  I finally just banned red lipstick from the house altogether.  If the girls want to look like Taylor Swift, they will have to move out of the house.  That's our only solution to that problem...and Dill is unlike any other kid I have had because she figures out how to get lids off.  Nail polish has to kept completely away from her.  If she finds a bottle anywhere, she unscrews the top and reeks havoc.  She also likes getting her nails done, but she doesn't like her hair done so much.
     Chlo and Mo spent quite a few days playing in the dryer.  Luckily, I am usually trying to cut down on the electric bill, and so I don't use it a whole lot.  I don't like to hang socks out though, and every time I would try to use it, I was met up with a little cubby of toys, blankets, and knick knacks...sometimes Mo would even be in there.  At that point, I would have to clear the hut, in order to use the dryer.  It totally makes sense to live in the dryer though.
     We had Chloee's birthday on the tenth.  I also was in charge of my Young Women's activity that day.  Chlo wanted to go to the splash park, and so I just had my beehives meet us there.  Chlo opened gifts, and played in the water.  We also had a great neighbor bring us pizza's and I let Chlo watch a movie on netflix.  All in all, Chloee was way easy to please for her birthday.  Jerusha's birthday was on the 23rd, and she had wanted me to take her and a group of friends out to Nay's Ranch and enjoy the waterslide.  The only problem with that was, it had rained and washed out the road to the ranch out there.  And so, it left me wringing my hands and worrying.  Jerusha's birthday party last year was a little bit of a fiasco.  Well, she was heartbroken.  Luckily, Calla Haviland came over to our house and offered the use of her pond (I just want to make a note that I had suggested this over and over, but it was not a good idea when I presented it)  Jerusha was all for it.  I ran to town, grabbed a few long deli sandweeches, and some chips.  I opened up her guest list to include all of the boys in bunkerville, and we went to Bunker's pond.  It was a ton of fun.  They slathered themselves in mud and had diving contests, and zipline contests.  It was simple, and the kids had a great time this year.  Mo had a good time.  It was just fun.  I took her out for dinner that night (sushi like Jazzerz) and yes...birthday party success.  Jamie's birthday was on the 31st.  Her friends spoiled her rotten.  I offered to give her some money toward a new phone, and I took her out for Sushi too.  There were some teenagers leaving when we arrived, and it made me cry, because when I went to pay our bill, when we were about to leave, those teenagers had already paid for us.  I bawled and bawled over that one.  It isn't often that you see teenagers that are that thoughtful...no offense any of you teenagers out there...but really, I was way floored by that act of kindness.
     Since then, I went to Portland for a week.  That would have been the first week of trial.  I went with Aunt Margaret, and we met Lisa and Sarah.  Jason Patrick, and his sister also ended up staying with us.  I was so proud of my husband that week.  He did an incredible job at defending himself, and I just knew that Heavenly Father was answering those little prayers.  How good it was to be across the room from him too.  I love that man.
     And, we have dealt with the day in and day out craziness.  Dill has been on a kick where she is constantly putting things in her hair.  She slathered a bunch of lotion in there the other day, and just yesterday, she attempted to spruce up with some maple syrup.  And, I know that I have mentioned my hatred for balloons on here.  Well, Mo found a glove this morning.  It was one of those cleaning gloves.  I had some beautiful ladies from the ward come over and help me spruce the house up before Mikkelsen's had their homecoming a few weeks back.  Mo just happened to find a cleaning glove that had not been used in that endeavor.  We filled it up with water, and he had his very own water balloon.  This made Dilly bawl all morning, because I didn't have a glove filled with water to give her.  Finally Mo let her hold it.  She lovingly wrapped it in a blanket, and put it in her toy shopping cart that Uncle Gary had bought for her.  Oh Dill...she just has the desire to mother something....even if it is a cleaning glove filled with water.
     I also have had a lot of drama with Mo and his clothing choices.  Around the house, all he wants to wear is underwear.  All of my kids have really gone through that phase at his age.  It especially seems to happen down here in the record heat.  Anyhow, he bawls and bawls when he doesn't have a special pair to wear.  I just couldn't figure it out.  Finally Jazz pointed out that he just wants to look nice, by wearing his lego underwear. This was kind of a epiphany for me.  It had never occurred to me that he cared about his appearance in his shorts.  I guess that is true though.  Mo just wants to look nice, and so we try to wash his lego underwear more frequently.
     Dill has also been on a rampage of messes lately.  She will crunch up chips in a bag, and dump them down the stairs, or she will find Jerusha's window markers, and paint the bathtub with them.  She has also been know to dump honey, chocolate milk, or anything else that she is done eating at the moment.  She has a real problem with running around barefoot, and getting bit by little sugar ants.  This causes her to bawl and bawl.  It is not a good thing.  But, to keep shoes on her is just not happening.  She cannot handle it.
     We had a problem the other day with Mo.  He had gotten into Oak's stuff, and found his leatherman tool.  He had then taken the knife and had slashed all of the leaves off of my prized fern.  In that process, he had cut his finger.  When he came up the stairs, he was bleeding a steady stream.  I calmed him down, and cleaned him up.  We glued and bandaged the finger, and I tried to calm him down.  He really felt like he was going to die.  He wondered why Jesus wanted to kill him???  This caused me to have a nice discussion about Jesus with him, and that Jesus does not kill people, but saves them.  He finally fell asleep.  It was not until the next day, that I saw his pruning job.  I still cannot figure it out. That plant was thriving, and beautiful.  He just claims that it had been bugging him for a long time.  Really, really bugging him.  Wow...it was in a corner that he likes to play, but we could have moved it, instead of slashing it to pieces.
     Another thing that Dill does, that isn't really great in a social scene, is she will strip naked, and remove her diaper whenever she gets the chance.  It really is not a good thing, to be visiting with someone, you are trying to appear, that you are totally keeping it all together, inspite of your husband's incarceration, and then a little naked Dill will come around the corner....it is like a flashing neon sign that yells "mom is in way over her head!!"  and that would be the truth. 
     In spite of our heartbreak, I see God's help and miracles daily.  We will continue to pray until that man is home.  We need him, and we are not whole without him.

     Ok...so I am trying to go back, because summer was largely a difficult blurr.  We definitely had some highlights, though, and I would like to remember those.
     We had a really fun weekend that had been planned by Rosella Talbot and Mindy Hardy.  They had reserved a resort, and had come up with a lot of fun activities for the kids and the moms to do.  The resort was old, and german-ish.  The room that they gave me had an old jetted tub, and a lovely canopy bed.  It was very nice.  The kids were supposed to sleep in a different building, and the other building had a cool little ice cream parlor attached.   Well, the first night that we were there Mo came running down some stairs that led to the kitchen...really an odd set of stairs in an odd place.  They were extremely steep, and he fell...right off the bat.  That first night he and I ended up pacing the halls as he cried.  His wrist was hurting.  The next day, Marylynn and I went to the temple and the kids had a day full of activities, but when I returned, Rosella had watched Moroni all day with his wrist, and felt like it was broken.  I had suspected the same thing, and so I ran him into an instacare in Ephraim a few miles up the road.  And, sure enough, they wrapped it, stuck it in a sling and sent me on my way.  I was also told that the sling would suffice, and a cast wasn't really necessary. We had a lot of fun, a masseusse showed up and gave massages to the mom's and the kids had fun with their cousins.  On the last night, Oak got the stomach flu, and threw up most of the night.  We headed home for that reason, and also because Jamie had a date in Cedar with a Bunkerville boy the next day.  Jerusha bawled most of the ride home, because she was not ready to leave.  I cannot say that I was really patient with her, and it is totally something I need to work on.  She has a tendency not to roll with the punches that life so often throws at me.  It usually causes conflict.
     Ok, so we get back home, and after a few days, we were all in bed with the lovely stomach bug that Oak had gotten.  It had been a horrible night, with kids throwing up, and me sick too.  I got a frantic phone call from Lisa early that morning.  Ammon had called her, and told her that Ryan had been severly beaten and taken from the jail.  There had been a lot of pressure being placed on Ryan to allow the prosecution to remove the bullet from his arm.  He had not agreed to their terms, and they had been quite nasty about the whole thing.  Ammon had witnessed them beat Ryan up because he had "court" that day.  No one had court, and it was obvious that they were going to probably knock Ryan out, and have the bullet removed as he slept.  These are my theories, but they are really the only ones that make any kind of sense.  The patriot community was throwing a huge fit.  Phone numbers were shared on facebook, and immediately, people began making angry phone calls...all day long we called, and tried to figure out what was going on.  Congressman Hardy got involved and he apparently was calling Congressmen in Oregon.  I was a nervous wreck, my sick kids were crying, and I didn't know for sure what they were doing to Ryan.  I didn't trust them to say the least.  I got on the phone with Captain Peterson and told him that I wanted to hear from Ryan, and Ryan only.  I didn't even want to take Lisa Ludwig's word for it.  I wanted to hear from my husband.  I didn't put it past them to kill him.  Not at all, they had already attempted to kill him once.  Kelli Stewart ( I will forever be grateful to her for her bravery) went to the jail and demanded to see him.  She brought a group of people with her, and claimed that she would not leave the jail until he was able to call home, or until she could see him with her own eyes.  Pressure was put on them from every direction.  Finally, I was at the ranch, doing a live interview with Gavin Seim, when he called.  They had beaten him up, his knee was knocked out, his wrist was broken, his thumb was broken, and he was bruised up, but he was alive.  He had been taken to the courthouse, and had sat in a cell the whole entire day.  What a ridiculous nightmare, and honestly, they had been placing so much pressure on him to have that bullet removed, I have no doubts they were going to force him into it.  All of the public pressure saved him that day.  I am sure of it.  Thank goodness we have supporters and people who care.  That is what will save America.  There are people who still care and want to save it.
     After they beat him up, they decided to discipline him further by throwing him in the hole.  This is way hard on him, and way difficult for us too.  That means he gets one fifteen minute out for the day, and he always used it to call me.  But, at that point he wouldn't have time to shower or shave or anything of that sort.  That means no interaction with Dad for our kids, and that takes it's toll quickly.  If he can at least have scripture study and prayer with us over the phone....it makes a huge difference in our home.  It settles the kids down and reassures them that their dad still cares and will be coming home for them.
     He wasn't in the hole long before jury selection began.  So, at that point, he was at least in the courtroom for most of the day for weeks on end.  I was able to fly up and be there for the first week of trial.  Margaret flew up and back with me, and it was so nice to have her company.  Lisa and Sarah met us, and Jason Patrick and his sister ended up sharing a suite with us too.  Lisa and I were thankful that the jail allowed us to visit our husband's after the hearings during the days we were there.  I would instruct Sarah to go get us a donut, and a plate of M&M's and Sar never did fail to deliver.  Ha ha!  There was another funny incident where Jason went down to breakfast, and attempted to bring his sister up a plate of food...well, we had already left at that point, and the door to our room was locked.  He didn't know what to do with the food, and so he sat it by the elevator door, and came and joined us in the lobby.  We all walked to court after that point.
     Just some of my thoughts from court.  Ryan was making a fabulous, and very hot attorney.  Really, all of the prayers were being answered because he was doing just fine.  Sheriff Ward seemed annoyed that he had to deal with controversy in his little county.  He would have liked it if Ammon had just stayed away, and not noticed the Hammond's and their plight.  The story of the Hammond's had resonated far and wide across the country, and people sent emails, and signed petitions, which he completelyl ignored.  He ignored their redress of grievances with thousands of signatures...he just seemed weak to me.  Unsure of his roll and his abilities as a sheriff.  He claimed that he was the Supreme Law of the land, but then said that he could do nothing about federal orders.  Well, that makes all kinds of sense.
     Butch Eaton was their next witness, and this was where a miracle occured.  When Butch was cross examined, he got choked up, and claimed that Ammon and Ryan had left beautiful families to fight a fight for his neighbor...they were only doing things that he should have done himself.  He talked about what great and honorable men they were, and that the only time he was intimidated or threatened was when the FBI came to his house.  They told him that he should be very concerned about his own well being, and the well being of his family.  They also demoted, or fired his wife, and told her that she was not allowed to have the opinions about the case that she did.  Sounds like sweet freedom to me??  Butch had us all in tears, and we went and hugged and thanked him.  I had also spent some time talking with Todd Mcfarlane, who is an attorney out of Kanab.  He told me that Ryan was doing a wonderful job representing himself, and that made me feel way better about that whole situation.
 

   

     Another couple of crazy weeks have gone by, and it's definitely time to update what has been happening.  Ryan and Ammon had court a few weeks back, and Ryan had put in some motions for he and Ammon to be together.  Surprisingly, the Judge ok-d that one.  He also called for their detention hearing to be the following Monday, which sent us all into panic mode.  Rick had told Ryan previously that I should bring the kids and come to that hearing, and he had that in the back of his mind the whole time.  When the attorneys came out and said that bringing the kids was not necessary, Ryan still wanted to see his kids.  The problem with all of that was, the girls had girls camp, and it was so far to be hauling the kids up there.  I was very nervous and distraught about the whole thing.  I would have to pull the girls away from Girls Camp a day early...and it was a hundred bazillion miles away.  Anyhow, he really wanted me to bring them, and I really love him, and so I started to work toward doing just that.  I decided that I just needed to take it slow, plan on taking a lot of breaks, and just take it one day at a time.  I could drive to Ogden...I decided to just focus on one day at a time.  So, there were still all kinds of problems, and worries.  What if I had car trouble?  What if taking the kids to court would traumatize them further?  What if I couldn't handle them all?  The list of worries and fears went on and on, and yet, I kept telling Ryan to pray about it, and he kept telling me that he felt good about everything.  He also just kept telling me to please bring the kids and come...just come.
     So, we cleaned, and packed, and the problem of the girls at camp still remained.  I prayed that if God wanted me to go to Portland, then I needed a door opened.  I needed those girls off of the mountain, I had no idea where to go to pick them up, and it would just be nice if I could grab them and go.  A little bit of time went by, and a phone call from Dawn came in.  She told me that Charlie would be bringing my kids off of the mountain for me, and he would meet me at the freeway.  My door was opened, and I knew I had to go.  I finished packing up, and was there to meet my girls.  Jamie and Sags seemed quite understanding about the whole situation, but Jerusha was way upset about the whole thing.  Way sad...she was going to miss the waterslide day at camp.  She had been having a ball, it was her first year, and she did not want to leave.  We got on the road, and I stopped in Cedar to give the kids a break.  Jamie wanted her phone paid for, and Oak and Mo needed haircuts.  I went over to my cousin Connie's beauty shop, and she generously cut the little boys hair without pay.  This, of course put me in tears again, because people have just been so good to me.  Anyhow, the one thing that I will take note of, the boys do not belong in a beauty shop....EVER!  The phrase, "bull in a china shop" doesn't even begin to describe how terrible it really was.  Oak was banging into knick knacks, and asking a million questions.  He does not understand the beauty world at all, which is good.  Heaven knows he was blessed with way too many women to deal with, and the fact that he has not been bombarded with that stuff is good.
     It was my goal, that first day, to reach Ogden.  I must admit that I had to rely on the little T.V. screens that I bought because my children are terrible at sitting in the car for five minutes, let alone three days.  The screens would work for awhile, and then Dill would get way antsy, and we would have to stop for a break.  Anyway, Jeff can get us good rates at Marriott's and we made it to Ogden without a hitch.  Rooshkie was still way upset that she wasn't at Girls Camp, and so when I mentioned going to find some food, she wanted to stay in the room.  Well, Mo and Chlo wanted to stay with her, which is not what she had in mind, but she also didn't have the energy to argue too much.  The rest of us went and grabbed some food, and found an elementary school playground.  Can I just say that the air felt amazing?  We literally live in a large and spacious oven.  Everything pretty much dies in the summer, and the plants that survive are mean and prickly.  We sat in the grass, there were clouds in the sky, and it was just beautiful.  I half expected some busy body to come and tell us that we were not allowed to be playing on the playground, but none of that happened.  I did have a guy come and tell me that he needed me to move my car, but that was it.  Anyhow, we went back to the hotel, and the kids had a lovely evening having diving contests at the hotel pool.  Ryan called, and he was really wanting to come back home with us.  I couldn't help but be hopeful, but I think I knew that they were not going to allow it.  I wanted it so bad though.  I am so tired of being without him.
     The next day I wanted to make it to Boise, Idaho.  Emmett is not far from Boise, but Lisa wasn't even home at that point.  We made it to Boise in pretty good time, and Ryan thought I should push further.  But, we had reservations, the kids were done, and Oak was demanding burgers.  I couldn't find a burger joint in the immediate area, but I did find a Subway sandwich.  I made the huge mistake of thinking that a meatball sub was kinda like a burger.  The kids did not like them, and they smeared meatball sauce all over the room.  This caused me to frantically try to clean up the humungoid mess.  Once again, diving contests were held that evening at the pool, and the T.V. was fought over.  That room was small, and I should have rented two, but I am constantly pinching pennies, trying to make the money stretch and last as long as possible, and there were children in every inch of place that night.  The next day was going to be a huge push to get to the jail in time to see their Dad and so I got up really early the next day, and was constantly stepping on someone as I tried to get things packed and cleaned.  I had brought a cooler for drinks, and the van had to be cleaned out every day...preferabaly vacuumed if I could locate one.  Dill has a terrible habit of licking the flavors and salt off of chips, and then throwing it on the ground.  When we would stop at night, it was like a chip bomb went off in that place.  Every morning I would try to start out clean and organized.  We actually got on the road in pretty good time.
     It had been my plan to stop at a small town in Oregon and attend church with the Gray family.  Chelsie Gray and I have never met, but she has helped me way more than she realizes.  She has sent me encouraging notes, and money when it was needed the most.  She had also gone and visited Ryan one day, and had written a speech about it.  This speech was delivered in Church, and she had been invited to give that speech in Stake Conference.  It just so happened that she was going to be giving that speech that morning.  I figured the kids and I could attend conference with them, we could then meet at a park and eat, and push on.  Well, Ryan did not feel good about that for whatever reason, and told us to get on the road, and drive on to Portland.  And, that was a long push.  I was also very nervous about driving downtown Portland because it is as confusing as all get out.  My ideal would be to bring a 4-wheeler and just drive the sidewalks, but I have a feeling that would be frowned upon.  Anyhow, I did as he instructed.  Chelsie texted later and told me that just after I went through the area, there was a huge crash on the interstate.  It was shut down, for most of the day after that, and had I done what I had originally planned, we never would have gotten in a visit.
     I got a text from Lisa when I was still about two hours from Portland.  She explained that I needed to hurry because the nice guy was there, but would not be there for much longer.  There is one guy that works at the Detention Center that has usually done all that he could to accomodate our visits with Ryan and Ammon.  The rest of them, not so much.  Anyhow, I grabbed the kids a quick hot dog, and we went as fast as we could legally push.
     I need to back up for just a bit.  When we stopped by Hurricane, to pick up the girls, Ryan had called and given the kids specific instructions about their roles and jobs on the trip.  I had heard some of them, but at the time, I was trying hard to find a spot for all of the girls camping gear.  Apparently he had assigned Oak the front seat so that the girls wouldn't fight over it.  Oak is great and all, but not the best at conversation.  He had pretty much sat up front the whole trip, and had allowed the girls to trade him when he wanted to sleep or watch something on the mini screens.  Anyhow, the closer to Portland I got, the more I started to panic.  I finally demanded that Wames take the front seat so that she could navigate.  And wow-she was a lifesaver.  It is so complicated up there, and she led us straight to that Detention Center without a hitch.  I had been secretly worried about that the whole trip.
     OK...so here was where things were going to get tricky.  The kids had to have adult supervision in the lobby.  The kids had to have adult supervision in the visiting room, and I was supposed to have birth certificates for all eight of them.  That's kinda laughable because our life has been extremely scattered since 2014.  Anyhow, I had scrambled, right before we left, and had located about three birth certificates, a few student ID's, a few immunization records...all somehow tying me legally to the kids.  I knew that most of the jerks in there were not going to allow me to get in to visit with my flimsy ID's.  But, the nice guy was still there when I came sauntering in with all eight children and my piles of folders.  He asked for their birth certificates (and just to break in here with how ridiculous that is....who kidnaps kids, and then forces them to visit inmates at the jails??? WOW!)  I just handed him my stack of stuff.  He began shaking his head and rolling his eyes as I tried to smile and bat my eyes....I would cry if necessary.  I had just risked my very sanity to be there so that the kids could visit their dad.  I wasn't going to leave.  He began explaining to me that the birth certificate law was a State of Oregon law.  It wasn't a jail thing and he really shouldn't let me get the kids in, but, he looked at me as I looked like I might cry, he would let it slide once.  Luckily Sarah and Lisa were there to juggle kids in the lobby, and I went upstairs with Oak and Mo for the first visit.  The visits with their dad were completely worth all of the miles, fighting, headaches, meatball messes, chip messes, and tears.  Dilly immediately got so excited when she saw her Daddy that she began kissing the glass.  It was priceless.  All of the kids got a good talk with their Dad, and I hope the guy in the lobby will be blessed for making that visit happen.  Sarah and Lisa definitely had their hands full in there, and yet Sarah felt like we should frequently bring all of our kids into the lobby of that jail.  People definitely need to see all of the little lives that have been shattered.  Jamie just sobbed when she talked to her dad.  It is so heartbreaking.  He loved seeing the kids, and that was worth the whole trip.
     After my last visit, I had to find Sarah (who had taken the kids for ice cream) and all of the little crazies.  I was disappointed in Chlo because she had demanded another cone when a Baskin Robbins employee (who is obviously not used to dealing with little kids) stuck her cone upside down in a cup.  This just wouldn't do for Chlo and so Sarah bought her another one.  I heavily lectured Chlo about being gracious when others are purchasing ice cream, but Sarah completely agreed with Chloee that it was unacceptable to have a cone upside down in a cup.  We made it through day one, headed to a hotel that we had rented in Vancouver Wershington, and yeah, more swimming and more diving contests.  At one point on the trip, Oak's eyes were quite red looking from all of the chlorine.  I had told him to either wear goggles, or close his eyes under the water.  Of course he closed his eyes, and then swam headlong into the side of the pool...this produced a nice gash on his face, and the child abuse look was something I was trying to avoid.  So typical.  Everywhere we went he got asked about it, and he blamed me for the fact that he was swimming with his eyes shut.  Thank you Oak.
     Kelli Stewart held a fun barbecue for us that night.  It just happened to be her daughter's birthday too, and the kids had a ball at Kelli's.  Goats, baby rabbits, a trampoline, and greenery and undergrowth...a fire pit???  Bundy heaven.  Dill fell in love with the baby rabbits.  It was a ton of fun.       The next day was the hearing.  I was still extremely torn about whether to take the kids or not.  Kelli had offered to let them stay at her house, but my older girls said that they were going no matter what.  It was supposed to be in the afternoon, but then a frantic phone call from Sarah, said that it could start in thirty minutes.  That settled that because there was not time to do anything, but just scramble to get there.  The Lamb's were there and Amanda Lamb offered to take my little ones in the hall if they got restless.  What do you mean if they get restless?  Dill was restless the moment that we stepped in the room.  Way restless.  She lasted next to no time at all.  She and Mo left pretty quick.  I will never forget my kids when the Prosecutor got up and began painting a horrible picture of their Dad.  They all, including Oak, just cried.  I didn't want to hurt them, and yet, I knew they were supposed to be in that courtroom for whatever reason.  When Ryan was finally able to speak, the spirit filled the room.  And, as a surprise, Uncle Ammon took the stand, and the spirit increased as he spoke.  The Prosecutors tried to mess him up, and get to admit to being some leader of a huge conspiracy.  He didn't fall for their traps.  At one point, the judge actually had my kids and I stand and I was glad that he acknowledged that Ryan and Ammon had good stable homes and families.  I caught a glimmer of hope that we could maybe be able to take him home.  The only nonsense the prosecution had was a silly rumor about Ryan making bed ropes out of bed sheets.  Nothing had been proven on that stuff.  But, the press picked up on it, and I got calls from reporters after the hearing.  I felt quite good about the hearing, and the judge promised to rule on the matter in the morning.
     After the hearing, the kids and I walked down to VooDoo donuts.  They had been good and definitely deserved a treat, although this particular donut shop is completely evil.  But, the kids had a ball picking out donuts.  And, then we headed back to the hotel to sleep and swim, and yep...splash as loud and as high with the diving contests as possible.
     I was supposed to get some stuff from Ryan's attorney in the morning that belonged to Ammon.  I got the news on the way into Portland, that the judge had ruled against letting Ryan and Ammon out on bail.  I cannot say that I was surprised, but I was definitely disappointed, and Jasmine and Chloee were completely heart broken.  Anyhow, Wames and I loaded up the boxes, and headed back to pick up the kids.  They had stayed with Kelli that day, and they had so much fun playing with baby bunnies.  Thank goodness the Lord provides friends and support when it is needed most.
     Well, we had to be out of our hotel that day, and so I had found another older one across town.  We had some fiasco's at that place because I locked the keys in the car.  Luckily, Sags has the Bundy genes, and was able to break in without too much trouble.  We also had so much fun in their pool.  So much fun.  Dill would hold on to Mo and just float and float.  I honestly was an emotional wreck that night and cried a lot, but it was a beautiful cloudy evening, the pool felt divine, and I really enjoyed my kids.  I was just heartbroken that their Dad couldn't be there to enjoy it with us.
     The next day, I had decided that we really needed to head home.  Hotels, and food was costing me a lot, and yet most of my kids have never seen the ocean.  The coast was only two hours away, and I just couldn't pass up that opportunity.  We got up really early, and decided to just go enjoy some time at the Oregon Coast, and then push to at least make it to Emmet that night to stay with Lisa and the kids.
     The morning started out normal.  I had Sags up front navigating, and I must admit that I wasn't quite as comfortable with my Saggers being the navigator, but she did just fine.  Oregon is beautiful and lush, and aside from some ridiculous fighting in the back, the drive was gorgeous.  And the ocean was so healing.  I cannot even explain it, it was just God's power in motion.  Chloee was still heartbroken and cried the whole time, but Dill had a fabulous time in the sand, and Mo laughed and squealed as the waves rolled back and forth over his feet.  Jams, Sags, and Rooshkie decided to try some body surfing, and got caught in a rip tide.  I was feeling pretty helpless yelling at them from the shore, as I had no idea what to do with Dill if I chose to swim out and try to save them.  I yelled at them to swim towards me until I was turning blue in the face.  I could see the panic on Sage's face as she would swim as hard as she could, and then go on her back from exhaustion.  Jamie seemed embarrassed by all of the yelling and Jerusha was crying out of fear at that point.  Luckily, some people on the shore caught on to my plight.  They directed the girls to swim sideways and then swim forward.  This worked within minutes, and Jamie was so humiliated by all of the attention that she wanted to leave.  She was furious that I had made such a spectacle out of a situation when there was no problem...whatever.  There was a problem and I knew it, and she was, and is too proud to admit it.  I will forever be grateful that there were people there to help when I lacked the understanding.  Jamie was so embarrased that she demanded we leave, and honestly, we still had an eight hour drive...it was time to go.
     We had one fun night with Lisa and kids.  Halle and Hayden had to leave for trek in the morning, but the rest of us had a blast.  Oak and Bowen had a ton of fun playing in the orchard.  I loved their new place, and yet, I cried for the gaping hole that just cannot be filled.  We have that gaping hole in our home too, and it is to heartbreaking.  Nothing replaces the dad of the family.  Nothing.
     We stayed one more night in Ogden, and that place had a nice pool, and headed home the next morning.  It was fun, and I was glad it was over.  Driving that many miles with the kids had been next to unbearable at times, and yet, we had done it.  I was grateful that the van ran the whole time.

     Instead of going home after the reunion, I had decided that I would go to my mom's for a few days.  Gary had come up, and had planned some things, and because the reunion fell on the 2nd this year, the fourth was on a Monday.  The kids could actually go to the parade and see the fireworks.  And...we weren't anywhere near as dirty and dusty as usual, thanks to all of the lovely rain that fell during the reunion.  When we got to my mom's, I threw some clothes in...especially Chloee's one pair of pants, and the kids got in the bath and showers, and we settled in.  It was nice to sleep in a bed.  Beds are nice inventions.
     We went to the Panguitch parade the next morning, and met Gary there.  It was kinda a disappointment.  A few kids on bikes.  And I cannot see our flag the same.  My country is against my family and I...at least that is what the court docket always says...The United States vs. Ryan Bundy.  When I look at the flag, I don't feel Independent.  I feel betrayed and sad.  They tried to kill my cowboy.  It was a mixed mess of emotions.  Anyhow, but it is hard to be with Gary and be sad.  He is always so upbeat and positive.  I ran into Chuck and Minnie Hughes when I was trying to talk to Ryan, and he was able to speak with his cousin.  That was good, and we went over and visited with Ann.  We also barbecued some steaks, and made Mo his pie.  Let me explain about Mo's pie.  When we were leaving the Bundy Reunion, he asked me if  I would be willing to make him a pie on the way.  I tried to explain to him that it was quite impossible to bake him up a fresh pie, as I drove home.  He then came up with another solution, and he told me word for word, what to say.  He told me to just call up my mom...and say, "hey mom! why don't you cook a pie for my little boy."  Anyhow, Mo loved his pie, and the steak, and everything else.  We had a hilarious visit with the brothers.  Doug recalled that Grandma Shurtz had sent him and some of the other cousins out to the pool to play one day.  Some of them were wanting floaties, and she had none, and so she told them to just take her empty milk jugs???  Yeah, she was a make-do with what you have type lady.  I miss her terribly.  I missed the fireworks because Dill was throwing "I'm tired" fits.  I was also able to watch something kinda scary because my Daddy was there.  I feel insecure without a man in my house.  I watched a nice, spooky movie, and I really enjoyed it.
     We went on walks, the kids played outside, and the weather was so wonderful.  We went for a drive the next day out to Tropic Reservoir, and filled up our water jugs.  We also went out to Ruby's Inn for a few minutes. 
     The next day, we went to Escalante.  It had been years and years.  We met Stetsy in the park with Roper, and my mom had told the kids some stories about some of the crazies she grew up with.  And she grew up with crazies.  There was a woman who would go into people's homes and she would brush her long, white hair in people's faces.  Another man was an ax murderer.  We showed them some of the haunted houses, and we visited my Grandma and Grandpa's graves.  I told them about Great Grandparents on my side of the family.  This is something that they don't hear much about.  They know a lot about the Bundy's, but not so much about the Peterson's and Shurtz's.  We also took them to the Red Rocks, and they attempted to slide down the rocks on the boards, like we used to.  They wore out many a pair of pants like we always did.  It was just so much fun.  I loved the weather.
     The next morning, we packed up and headed home, and hey...it has only been 103 or so.  Nice for this time of year.  We are back to swimming at the head gate, and friends, and it's good to be home.  Sags and I got the unpacking done, and so now we are packing up for Girls Camp.  Oak and Chlo stayed with Barry, and they should be home this week.
     This afternoon Mo has been all kinds of mean to my little Dill.  It makes me very sad, and I have tried to tell him how important it is for him to be nice to his sister.  They demanded Ramen Noodles for a snack, and I was too tired to argue.  Moroni dumped his, and placed a pillow over it.  This always gets to me....do they think that I am not going to find out about the mess, if there's a pillow on top of the splattered mess?  He has taken toys from her all day, and yelled at her.  I am so ready for Chlo to come home.
     Last night I had to leave to go and pick up Sags from weights.  I wasn't gone for very long, but Jamie was getting ready for a date, and she was obviously not watching the babies really close.  Dill got into the wood stove and dumped ashes all over the place.  She then went over and dumped a sticky pop all over the floor, and she then went upstairs and got into a pack of band-aids and stuck them all over.  Grrrr.  Anyhow, I got home, and cleaned up the messes.  I then cooked a nice dinner.  We had all eaten together (those of us, that were actually home) and I had gotten up to do dishes.  Dill proceeded to throw plates and food on the floor.  She got a frowny and a cuss word from me.  She looked at me, and then started to sing the Frozen song "Let it Go"....very appropriate Dill!