It was rare that my mom was not around to get me on the bus during elementary school. She began her career as a teacher when I was in middle school, and by then, I could do my own hair, get myself breakfast ( which usually consisted of one of those brown sugar pop tarts, and yeah...those aren't my favorites), and get a ride with my brothers, who did not want me to have to ride the bus. But, in elementary school, my mom was around to make sure my hair was fixed and that my clothes were clean and in decent order. I vividly recall one incident where she was going to be out of town. There was panic in the air. My dad did not know how to do my hair, and a practice run resulted in hideous results. The fact of the matter was, his fingers were just too big to work with my fine baby silk blonde hair. There was no way he could make me look decent. So, my mom actually had to arrange for my next door neighbor to fix my hair on the days she was going to be gone. That worked ok...but really, when my mom was gone, it messed us all up.
Another time, our family went to Escalante for the weekend. My dad did not accompany us on that trip, and if I recall correctly, it was a three day weekend, and he had to work. Anyhow, he was left with strict instructions to feed my goldfish. The instructions were simple....just feed the goldfish. Well, he felt the goldfish weren't acting "perky" enough and so he added ice cubes to their bowl thinking that would freshen things right up. And, it effectively killed them.
On a more positive note, my dad took us camping, and fishing, and shooting. He made sure we were free to ride four-wheelers whenever we were out in the hills, and this gave me a sense of freedom that I had never before experienced. We hiked into many lakes and fished. We enjoyed wild strawberries, and dutch oven dinners out in the beauty of nature. At night we slept in the still quiet of in our sleeping bags and tents, and honestly, sometimes I nearly froze to death. My Dad gave me a sense of security that I just don't believe could have come from anywhere else. When he was around, I was safe. He gave me boy advice when I was of age and tried to see the good in all of the young men I brought home. He gave me a hug on the way to my prom and formal dates with a whisper in my ear to "be good" and heaven knows I could never hurt or disappoint my dad, and so I was good. I was very blessed with a good dad.
Fast forward to having a family of my own. I picked a man that gave me the same sense of security that my own dad gave me. Ryan is strong, handy, and can figure out a solution to almost any problem. When he is next to me snoring in my bed, I know that all is right with the world. We started our family off with a streak of four girls. Beautiful, blonde girls. They have always loved their dad. He was the guy that had candy in his suit pocket at church. He was the guy that would swing them around or toss them playfully in the air. He was the guy that put them on his shoulders and carried them out for grand adventures. I was told by Sage on one occasion, "we like you, but we just like dad more." It was totally true. He was their favorite, their protector, and their stability. He was their fun.
Ryan worked construction, and so that meant that the kids were not usually welcome on his jobs. It violated a million rules and, so it was rare when they could go with him to work. That meant if he was looking at a job, picking up supplies, or running any errands, he would take one of the kids with him. This was a great time for the girls, and later the boys. He would always buy them treats from the gumball machines ( I always told them no) or he would stop and buy them an ice cream. I recall vividly a woman that Ryan did business with. She sent Ryan an email a day after he had gone to look at a job that she was needing to be done. He had taken Oak with him so that they could spend some time together. The woman felt that this was "unprofessional" and should not be done. She felt that if he wanted to be taken seriously in the construction world, children should not be allowed to tag along. He emailed her back, thanking her for her advice, and then explained at length the importance of a father to a child. He made no apologies and told her that he would continue to include his children in everything he could, always. Needless to say, she didn't hire him, but I was so happy with the guy I married that day.
I still recall vividly the time that I left an infant Sage in his care, while I fulfilled my calling as Young Women's leader. She was 3 or 4 months old at the time, and had been introduced to a little rice cereal, but was strictly nursed otherwise. I was very concerned about her getting hungry and knew that he would probably have to get her to sleep. We lived about 30 miles away from town and phone service at the time. I was really worried that she was going to cry the whole time I was gone because Sage was no the easiest baby. Anyhow, when I returned home from my ward assignments, she was fast asleep in her bed. The clothes he had put her in were odd, and ones I had not ever dressed her in, but she was asleep. I asked him how he managed to get her to sleep. He just shrugged and said that he fed her and she fell asleep. Fed her?? I calmly asked what he had fed her, and he just explained that he had baked meat pies for dinner and she helped him eat his. Yeah...I was worried, but she slept great that night with zero problems. Lucky kid to eat meat pies with her dad.
Another time I had to go on an overnighter with my calling as we took the youth to temple square. I completely forgot that Jamie had a birthday party on Saturday. Luckily Ryan got her to the party, but his gift??? A toy the girls had gotten from McDonald's that they never really understood how to play with. I give him props for getting her there with an actual gift though. I am positive it wasn't wrapped, cuz I have never seen that guy wrap a gift.
When I would attend Relief Society meetings, dinner under Ryan's care was always an adventure. Steak and marshmallows one evening. I will never forget cleaning that dinner up. No wonder they didn't mind if I stepped out for the evening. Steak and shmallows were a dinner that I had never even considered. He takes them out trimming trees, or fixing tractors. They help him haul wood as he cuts it, and they assist if he has an animal to butcher. It was always him that invited them into our bed if they had a nightmare, or if they were sick. "Come let me hold you."
Dads and moms are pretty special. But today, I am just grateful for good dads. I am so glad Ryan is home. The other morning, Dill wanted to discuss Ryan's time in jail, and she wondered why her dad had been taken from her. "Don't they know that we can't have a happy family without our dad?" Obviously, they do not care. I took my kids in those courtrooms so that judges and prosecutors alike could see first hand the damage they were doing in lying and holding an innocent man. It did not seem to bother them in the least. That is part of the problem. Repentance and teachings of Jesus Christ is the key that can actually fix all of this and heal our nation.
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