Instead of going home after the reunion, I had decided that I would go to my mom's for a few days.  Gary had come up, and had planned some things, and because the reunion fell on the 2nd this year, the fourth was on a Monday.  The kids could actually go to the parade and see the fireworks.  And...we weren't anywhere near as dirty and dusty as usual, thanks to all of the lovely rain that fell during the reunion.  When we got to my mom's, I threw some clothes in...especially Chloee's one pair of pants, and the kids got in the bath and showers, and we settled in.  It was nice to sleep in a bed.  Beds are nice inventions.
     We went to the Panguitch parade the next morning, and met Gary there.  It was kinda a disappointment.  A few kids on bikes.  And I cannot see our flag the same.  My country is against my family and I...at least that is what the court docket always says...The United States vs. Ryan Bundy.  When I look at the flag, I don't feel Independent.  I feel betrayed and sad.  They tried to kill my cowboy.  It was a mixed mess of emotions.  Anyhow, but it is hard to be with Gary and be sad.  He is always so upbeat and positive.  I ran into Chuck and Minnie Hughes when I was trying to talk to Ryan, and he was able to speak with his cousin.  That was good, and we went over and visited with Ann.  We also barbecued some steaks, and made Mo his pie.  Let me explain about Mo's pie.  When we were leaving the Bundy Reunion, he asked me if  I would be willing to make him a pie on the way.  I tried to explain to him that it was quite impossible to bake him up a fresh pie, as I drove home.  He then came up with another solution, and he told me word for word, what to say.  He told me to just call up my mom...and say, "hey mom! why don't you cook a pie for my little boy."  Anyhow, Mo loved his pie, and the steak, and everything else.  We had a hilarious visit with the brothers.  Doug recalled that Grandma Shurtz had sent him and some of the other cousins out to the pool to play one day.  Some of them were wanting floaties, and she had none, and so she told them to just take her empty milk jugs???  Yeah, she was a make-do with what you have type lady.  I miss her terribly.  I missed the fireworks because Dill was throwing "I'm tired" fits.  I was also able to watch something kinda scary because my Daddy was there.  I feel insecure without a man in my house.  I watched a nice, spooky movie, and I really enjoyed it.
     We went on walks, the kids played outside, and the weather was so wonderful.  We went for a drive the next day out to Tropic Reservoir, and filled up our water jugs.  We also went out to Ruby's Inn for a few minutes. 
     The next day, we went to Escalante.  It had been years and years.  We met Stetsy in the park with Roper, and my mom had told the kids some stories about some of the crazies she grew up with.  And she grew up with crazies.  There was a woman who would go into people's homes and she would brush her long, white hair in people's faces.  Another man was an ax murderer.  We showed them some of the haunted houses, and we visited my Grandma and Grandpa's graves.  I told them about Great Grandparents on my side of the family.  This is something that they don't hear much about.  They know a lot about the Bundy's, but not so much about the Peterson's and Shurtz's.  We also took them to the Red Rocks, and they attempted to slide down the rocks on the boards, like we used to.  They wore out many a pair of pants like we always did.  It was just so much fun.  I loved the weather.
     The next morning, we packed up and headed home, and hey...it has only been 103 or so.  Nice for this time of year.  We are back to swimming at the head gate, and friends, and it's good to be home.  Sags and I got the unpacking done, and so now we are packing up for Girls Camp.  Oak and Chlo stayed with Barry, and they should be home this week.
     This afternoon Mo has been all kinds of mean to my little Dill.  It makes me very sad, and I have tried to tell him how important it is for him to be nice to his sister.  They demanded Ramen Noodles for a snack, and I was too tired to argue.  Moroni dumped his, and placed a pillow over it.  This always gets to me....do they think that I am not going to find out about the mess, if there's a pillow on top of the splattered mess?  He has taken toys from her all day, and yelled at her.  I am so ready for Chlo to come home.
     Last night I had to leave to go and pick up Sags from weights.  I wasn't gone for very long, but Jamie was getting ready for a date, and she was obviously not watching the babies really close.  Dill got into the wood stove and dumped ashes all over the place.  She then went over and dumped a sticky pop all over the floor, and she then went upstairs and got into a pack of band-aids and stuck them all over.  Grrrr.  Anyhow, I got home, and cleaned up the messes.  I then cooked a nice dinner.  We had all eaten together (those of us, that were actually home) and I had gotten up to do dishes.  Dill proceeded to throw plates and food on the floor.  She got a frowny and a cuss word from me.  She looked at me, and then started to sing the Frozen song "Let it Go"....very appropriate Dill!

     Another week without my cowboy.  I miss him more and more every day.  And Cliven..what I wouldn't give to get him home.  Somehow this mess has got to resolve.  I need my man home, and my kids need him.  It just gets harder and harder to carry on, and not feel like freaking out.
     So, I braved the Bundy Reunion alone, and I have been concerned and worried about it for months.  I was really worried that the roads would be slick and muddy, and I worried that I would get a flat tire, and I worried that I would get out there and just cry the entire time.  I also worried about tents, and bedding, and car trouble.  I hated to face it alone, and yet all along, I really felt like he would somehow be home.  They would somehow understand, that our whole year and world revolved around that weekend, and that we needed to be out there and together.  No such luck. 
     Anyhow, the kids begged and pleaded, and I knew it was just going to be difficult and sad.  I finally decided that we would be sad no matter what, and so I decided to go.  With that in mind, I needed a tent.  I know that I mentioned all of our tent fiascos over the last few years, and I decided to just buy something nice.  That is how Ryan would do it.  Anyhow, so I watched expenses and set aside some money.  Sags and I went in and bought a really nice canvas tent, that supposedly was not difficult to set up.  And, then we went to packing.  Thank goodness for Rooshkie.  She was really wanting to go, and she packed most of the little kids stuff.  Chlo packed her own bag, and that had me concerned.  I made a mental note to go through her stuff.  Anyhow, with everyone pulling together, we were able to get stuff done.  The one hitch was that Sags had a volleyball camp all week, and they needed me to drive to and from St George where the camp was being held the day that we were wanting to leave.  So, I told everyone to have everything in a pile.  I would drive the girls up and back, and we would have to pack as soon as I returned.
     Well, everything went according to plan.  We removed the seat as soon as I got back from the volleyball camp, and we went to work packing up the van nice and tight. Rooshkie doubted my abilities, but I learned from Ryan and he is the best packer ever.  We finally got out of there around noon.  The problem was, there were a few items that I had to stop in St George for, and that is always a downer.  Oak had forgotten his coat, and I had no spare tire.  I did not dare go out there without a spare.  We drove all over St. George and no one wanted to sell me one.  Pretty much no one sells used tires any more.  I finally had to go to a wrecking yard, and that was five hours later.  The kids and I were extremely hot and bothered.  We finally hit the dirt road, and it was obvious that the roads were wet.  In fact, a rainstorm seemed to follow me all out there.  This had me extremely concerned.  I knew that the mud would get slick, and I really struggle with that van in the mud.  I have no control.  But whenever I said my silent prayers, the Lord assured me that I should go, and just have faith in Him.  I was way tempted to just go home.  Anyhow, the road is pretty gravelly until the flat before the school house, and I was all over the road trying to make it to the building.  It was really bad, and yet I didn't want to show my fear to the kids.  I was considering just spending the night in the school house in hopes that the roads might dry by the next morning.  I could see out across the flat, that it was a total quagmire, and on top it usually gets really bad too.  The rain had picked up again, and it did not look like it was going to stop any time soon.  Not five minutes passed when Josh Jensen and his brother Seth pulled up in a new looking truck.  They offered to drive behind me, or in front of me and give me any help necessary.  I gratefully took them up on the offer, but was still nervous.  Josh finally just offered to drive the van the rest of the way.  Jerusha heaved an obvious sigh of relief.  She obviously doubts my abilities.  Anyhow, I gratefully accepted, and hopped in with Seth, and a few of the littler kids.  I watched Josh...mud up to the axles, and he was swaying all over, but completely in control of the van.  What a Bundy he is, and what a huge blessing!!  It was definitely no coincidence, and I could not be more grateful for his help that day.  I will never forget it.
     We got up to the campground and it was just pouring.  I kept hoping it would stop for a bit, so that I could get my tent pitched, but Richard and John came up the hill and offered to help me.  The rain was obviously not slowing down, and was not going to stop any time soon.  We got to work, and they had it figured out pretty quick.  Just as they were putting up the poles on the sides, there was this huge flash of light and John got zapped by the wet pole he was holding.  Yeah, he kinda freaked out about that for awhile, but it didn't stop him from helping Richard finish putting the tent up.
     I almost forgot to mention Chlo's bag...I should have checked it, and gone through it.  She had packed a whole bunch of clothes that haven't fit her since like, 1956.  No really, she hadn't worn that stuff years!!  I have no idea what she was thinking, but needless to say, she had one pair of pants that fit her, and she fell off of the merry go round and into the mud, on the first morning.  So typical of my life.  Why can't I get it together?  Poor, unprepared Chlo!
     The reunion, was, as usual, a whirlwind of activity.  I tried the whole time to get a phone call from Ryan,  but it never did work.  I was able to text Kelli in Portland, and she would reassure me that she had heard from him, and that he was ok, but I went through major withdrawls.  I even tried Ivona's signal booster with no success.  It was difficult.  The dance was torture.  I missed him so bad, and couldn't go down to the slab without bawling my eyeballs out.  Jasmine felt the same way, and she cried and cried for her dad.  We finally just decided that it would be best to just go up and go to sleep.  That night it rained and rained too.  My tent was amazing.  It blew hard, and it rained hard, but we didn't get a single drop on us.  The babies slept soundly, and all I decided was that I need a better mattress.  The mats that I ususally use just don't cut it anymore.  I must be getting old.    
     I was grateful that I was more prepared with a tent, and I was grateful that I had stopped and purchased Oak a jacket.  I almost never even saw him, or Chloee the whole reunion.  They made friends with cousins and just took off the entire day.  They would maybe come in for a snack, but they rarely even ate.   At one point, Chlo came sauntering into camp with an entourage of giggly cousins, and she had no shoes on.  This is not a rare sight for Chlo, but I had recalled that she had actually left camp with shoes.  When I asked her where she left her shoes, she explained that she had taken them off by a water tank, and that when she returned to get them, there was a stink bug by them, and so she of course, couldn't put them back on.  They basically needed to be abandoned because of the stink bug.  This was a little alarming.  I sent Jerusha after the mysterious shoes by the water tank three times with zero success, and explained that there might or might not be a stink bug in their general vicinity.  Jamie was finally able to locate them, and she came lugging them back to camp.  Apparently they had been hiding under a door, by the water tanks.  A spot that any stink bug might love.
     There are quite a few babies around little Dilly's age, and they are all growing up too fast.  Dill and Hazel fought over a blue chair almost the whole time.  I actually purchased Dill a brand new chair, and I know that Molly had brought a chair for Hazel, but they liked to fight over the blue plastic chair.  There were actually two of these chairs, and one of them only had three legs.  John and Richard finally stole the three-legged one when no one was looking and burned it, but the other one was still up for fighting and debate.  Finally it got left down by the cement slab, which brought us some peace for a little while. 
     There was no Roy Bundy breakfast that we could find, and I missed the races because I was on the hill trying to get a phone call from Ryan.  Let me just take a moment to explain the phone system up there.  There is no service, except for two spots.  One spot is called "The Phone Booth" and it is just at the top of the steep hill that is climbed before the reunion grounds.  It is probably 8 miles from camp.  There is one more spot on the hill above the reunion grounds, and there is a generator and a water tank on that hill, that is used just for the reunion.  By, the shed that holds the generator, some kind soul has stacked three huge tires.  If you stand with your hand in the air, you just might get a small signal.  I walked up this hill twice a day for the entire reunion in hopes of catching a call from Ryan.  During those times, many kind souls would come and climb on the tires with me, and try to get calls out.  It was kinda hilarious.  We need to build a phone tower on that hill.  That should be our next reunion project.
     Dill won her race, and Jamie, and Rooshkie came in second, and Jazz came in third...pretty good overall.  Testimony meeting, and church meetings were good as usual.  The Bundy's are spreading the Gospel message all over the world, and it is good to hear from the missionaries.  I was a little bit mad because the first thing that the Bishop said that we couldn't do was discuss anyting political....we can't even discuss our plight with the family???  I was irritated by this, and yet I saw so much love and support from the family that it was overwhelming.  Mark Bundy gave me $500.00 and Cory Bundy's wife gave me some cash too.  One of the family's Nancy Madril's family, had made t-shirts that spoke of all of the Bundy prisoners by name, and asked for prayers.  I was very touched by this, and Renie Layton had made a quilt to raffle for the families too.  The Bundy family  is largely behind us, but too afraid to say anything...that was the vibe I got.  I had told all of the kids that I wanted them to attend some of the church meetings...I finally had to go and locate Chlo and Oak.  Oak wasn't really excited about church, but he finally asked if he could just listen to church from inside one of the barrels...sure. why not?  There are barrels all over by the cement slab for garbage purposes, how many chances does a guy get to listen to church from a barrel?  Another thing that was funny at church, was Dill found that blasted blue chair.  It was at the bottom of a steep hill.  The hills and everything have been covered by a fine cinder gravelly material.  That baby girl drug that blue chair clear up that steep hill, in that rolly gravel.  I kept waiting for her to slip and fall, but she didn't.  After all of that work, I felt like she definitely deserved to sit in the little blue chair, and listen to church.
     Our dinner was really good.  Everyone pitched in and we cooked dutch oven chicken and potatoes.  The brother-in-laws cooked it, but they had never done it before.  I could not believe that.  Ryan and Ammon had always done the cooking in previous years.  They did an amazing job though, even if they were rookies, and we then had a pleasant drive to my mom's house.  Dry roads, and no problems.  I survived the reunion without him...whew!

     I know that Ryan's days in his cell have been long and difficult...my days are difficult, but flying by at an extremely fast pace.  I feel somewhat guilty about this because he just wants to come home, and I feel like I should be doing more to get him out somehow.  Sage has a plan to release the Kraken if he isn't home by the Bundy reunion, but I am pretty sure that the Kraken is sea monster??? Not sure that will work.  Her plan is flawed, and I just want to go up there and say, "hey thanks for all of this,but we are done...going home."  I am just kinda tired of the whole thing.  We analyzed the Kraken plan, and a sea monster isn't going to work in Pahrump, and Oak brought up the biggest problem with the plan...the Kraken isn't even real.  That kinda took the wind out of our sails.
     So...we have had trek, I took a trip up to visit Ryan, Sage and Jerusha have had Volleyball camp, Jamie has had FFA camp, and Jamie actually made zone officer, and next week is another volleyball camp for Sage.  I know she desperately wants to make the JV team, and she is going to have to put in the work to do that.  She is doing just that.
     I wanted to fly to Portland, so that I could meet Lisa during the second week in June.  My biggest hesitation with this, was the fact that the kids would be gone to trek, and I would have no babysitter.  In a way that was ok, because on the last trip up, I recieved so many phone calls of fighting, that I had decided to leave an adult there anyway.  Not just someone to check in with them every once in awhile.  My other hesitation, was that the girls were going on trek, and when the kids come back from trek, the whole town shows up to welcome them home.  I asked the girls repeatedly how bad they would feel if they didn't have a parent there.  They told me over and over that they really didn't care.  I am sure that they did kind of feel bad...my kids are going to be so strong after all of this.  I was also really glad that Ryan had both hand written them a letter to read on the trail.  Both of the girls said that his letter made them cry.  I am so grateful for the kids to have the opportunity to grow and feel the spirit.  Ok...so back to my original thought...I needed a sitter.  Gary kept offering Kristiann, and as bad as I didn't want to make her drive the whole way to Nevada, just for me, I knew that I couldn't possibly leave my kids in better hands.  I would seriously not have one second of worry while I was gone, and the trips to Portland are wonderful and terrible all at the same time.  They are really emotionally exhausting.  Anyhow, I finally just came to the conclusion, that I needed her, and I knew she would be the person that would love on my heartbroken kids better than anyone.  She came, and she did a wonderful job.  The kids were sad when she left, and Moroni turned into a huge show off.  He ran back and forth and round and round the house to show how fast he could be.  And he is fast as all get out.
     My trip to Portland was nice..any visit I get with him is so wonderful, and yet I hate the glass in between us, and I just want to bring him home with me.  Lisa and I went by and waved at the windows of our husband's, and there were people out there who were protesting around the clock.  It was so good to see them and to thank them for all the good that they were doing.  We visited with them until pretty late, and that was a mistake because the streets of Portland were unusually bad that night.  There was some parade happening the next morning, and the streets were lined with tents and all kinds of interesting people.  Drugged up Zombie types are often seen on the streets up there and this night was especially bad.  We ended up finally running back to our hotel.  And of course, we had to get a donut at Voodoo Donuts....that is a given.  We also learned how to use their public transit system, which saved us a ton in a rental car expense.  It was also a nice little ride, and I saw first hand how many homeless people there are up there.  They live under the bridges and everywhere up there.  I feel way bad for all of them.  I am so grateful that I am blessed with a home and family.  I hope that all of them end up out of their difficult situations soon.
     All in all a great a visit, and some crappy flights back and forth.  I really struggle with flying.  Anyhow, but to fly that far in 2 hrs is a huge blessing too.
     My Dad also had back surgery that week.  I drove up so that I could be with my mom while he was getting operated on.  He came out feeling so much better.  He had been in pain for so long.  He was so grateful.  When the nurse asked if he needed anything, or if he had any complaints, I told her that he hadn't liked the food very much during his last hospital stay.  When she asked him about it, he told her that it was worse than leftovers from the Donner Party....I was glad that he still had his sense of humor.
     After all of my crazy trips, I was grateful to be home.  I came back to the same old shenanigans.  And I dealt with some funny stuff before the trip too.  I had purchased camelbacks for the girls for trek.  According to their leaders, the kids that could drink easily out of camelbacks usually didn't dehydrate.  I was kinda annoyed one night when Wazz came and got in bed with me with a camelback on.  I mean, why is that necessary?  She kept loudly gulping from it, until I got kinda annoyed, and told her that if she wanted to sip out of a camel back all night, then she was going to have sleep in her own bed.  She agreed with that, and went to bed...I am grateful that water was so convenient for Wazz that night.
     We have also had some difficult times at shrsh.  Dill wanted to play a loud game of peek-a-boo on one Sunday, and I caught Oak running back and forth on another Sunday.  Last Sunday was Father's day...Dill ended up in the hall again.  The other ward was serving pie to the Dad's in Priesthood.  Ivona was in the kitchen, and served up Mo and Dill a huge plate of all kinds of pie.  Then, all of the kids ended up with candybars that were being served to the Dad's in our ward.  How does that even work when they aren't even Dad's?  Needless to say that Mo and Dill had a nice pie face for awhile.  Mo looked like he had bright red lipstick on because of his berry pie.
     Dill has also had a bad habit of scribbling all over everything lately.  EVERYTHING.  Mo woke up one morning and the whole side of his face and body had been scribbled on by the Dill because he had slept in longer than her.  She had also gone downstairs and gotten in to the maple syrup.  When I went to get her, she was literally stuck in a pool of syrup on the table cloth.
     Another night, a kind family brought us a pan full of enchiladas, and some salsa.  She warned me that the salsa was a bit on the hot side when she was leaving, but I was so grateful for the dinner.  I had driven Jazz to Cedar and back that day for an orthodontist appointment, and it was  a huge blessing.  Anyhow, Dill loves chips and salsa.  She went to town on the salsa, and usually she just dips the chip and sucks the salsa off of it.  This salsa was hot, and she just couldn't figure that out.  She kept on eating it and whimpering at the heat of it.  Her face was beet red, and tears were rolling down her cheeks, but she wouldn't stop.  I finally filled her bowl with some milder stuff, and that seemed to go better for her....my goodness little Dill....pace yourself with the salsa!!
     Mo has made a nice imaginary friend named Viter...he is from a lost city, and he is eight and looks like his cousin Braxton.  I hope that Viter will keep Mo out of trouble, because trouble seems to find my Mo boy at times.  He also demanded a dry drink of water the other morning.  I wasn't sure how to help him with that one...none of the wet drinks that I gave him would do.
     Margaret and Lily showed up on Wednesday, and told me that I had the day to do whatever I wanted to do.  I went to the Vegas temple, and I felt so good after being in there.  I just really feel like everything is going to turn out ok.  I just need to have faith and patience.

     Some of my latest parenting situations have been happening with Rooshkie.  She has been an interesting little gal to say the least, and she is motivated a ton by her friends lately...well, she has been motivated by her social life, to a large degree, for awhile.  She get's embarrassed way too easily, and yet, I don't seem to notice this all the time. 
     I guess the other evening, before I went to go pick her up at the park, she called and told Wazz that I did not need to come and get her, because she was embarrassed by the van that I drive, and she would get a ride with a friend.  I was so intrigued and enlightened by this news, because it brings a lot of insight into her behavior lately.  I didn't notice some of this stuff, until that was brought to my attention.
     To explain the situation of the van, it is kind of a pitiful ride.  When Ryan and I went to purchase it, I was a little embarrassed myself, and I tried to talk him in to a suburban. or a Tahoe...something a little bit cooler.  But, he was way more practical, and I was pregnant with my fifth child at that time, and I had no plans of slowing down, in bringing more children to the planet.  The twelve and fifteen passenger vans were $20,000 less than an SUV, they fit more people, and they had the same wheel base etc.  They didn't have four-wheel drive, but Ryan can usually maneuver wherever we want to go without it.  Anyhow, he was paying for the car, and so being cool kind of went out the window then.  We were literally buying a shuttle bus.  Since that time, the paint has come off of the roof in large sheets, Wams backed into Ryan's utility trailer, and dented it all up, and it has been messy from time to time.  I get way embarrassed when the kids get out of it, and dum papers from shrsh or school blow out in a trail behind them.  But, it has our nice "Bye Bye BLM" sticker, and it has the VO sticker, along with some bow hunting stickers.  I don't care at all what the appearance is, as long as it gets me where I need to go, and it has been a way reliable car in that aspect.  We have replaced a few batteries, and tires, but that thing has been nice because it never requires much maintenance other than that.
     Anyhow, this evening, Rooshkie was again, wanting to go and play night games at the park with her friends.  She made it clear that it was fine if I just dropped her off at the church.  This is when I noticed that once again, she was embarrassed of the van.  I was like "Naw..I wouldn't hear of it, I will pull right in to the park, maybe I will even pull onto the grass."  She squirmed with that idea.  I told her that maybe I would even come back every half hour and spray sunscreen on her for good measure.  I was laughing pretty hard at this point because I could tell that she was mortified at that thought.
    Anyhow, I stayed long enough that her friends could definitely see my cool ride, and then I went to the post office to check our mail.  I was thrilled to see that her new sandals had arrived.  She had been begging for a pair of sandals that I had kind of balked at buying.  They were kinda ugly, even though I am sure that they are some cool, new trend.  I told her that her Dad had a pair just like them that he wore at the prison, and that perhaps he could get her a pair???She did not like that idea, and did not find it funny.  Anyhow, she earned the money, and I ordered the shoes.  Those wonderful little things were right in my mailbox.  I drove right back over to the park, made sure that she got a good look at me and the van with all of her friends, and I began to wave those shoes at her with all kinds of excitement.  I laughed and laughed because I could tell that she was way embarrassed and did not realize what I was doing.  She finally sheepishly came over, grabbed the shoes and walked away with her head hung down.  How am I going to convince her that I am cool?  Really, really cool?  I am as cool as any person can get ha ha!
     We had another issue come up.  Sags has a paper due this week, and her teacher specifically asked her to educate the class on the problems and situation that our family is facing.  Why did we take the stand that we did etc? Well, that was a good idea and all, and Saggers was looking forward to completing the task, but every time that she went to write, she wanted to consult with her Dad, or her Grandpa.  She cannot call either one of them at her convenience, and she would end up crying about our situation.  Ryan called one evening, and I gave up my talk time with him, so that he could instruct her on how to proceed with her assignment.  She got a pocket Constitution and highlighted a bunch of things, and took some good notes.  Well, when she went to sit down at the computer, after taking a short break, her pocket Constitution with the notes from her dad were missing.  She got frantic and went on a search for it.  Well, Dill had taken it, and taken a huge bite out of it.  I seriously did not know what to say.  I mean, you think that your pocket Constitution would be safe from someone eating it when you set it down....not in my household, and I cannot even tell you why.  Dill is fed plenty.
     What finally ended up happening, was we had decided to use some information that she had used for a report a few years ago.  Her Dad and Grandpa had helped her with it, and the information tied in perfectly. 
     Speaking of little Dill, she is really struggling this week.  She hasn't really slept much for two nights in a row, and she is getting hurt non-stop.  She fell off the porch early this morning, banged her head against the wall, and fell off of a toy car during my Presidency meeting.  I felt pretty bad for my little Dill.  She needs some rest, and so does her Mom.
     Rooshkie's latest has come because she is convinced that I am pretty much the only mom anywhere that won't allow their twelve year old to have their own phone.  She has begged and pleaded and whined and moaned.  Ryan and I both feel that she doesn't need one yet.  We told Jamie and Sage they could get phones at 16, and I believe that Jamie was 15, and Sags was 14...not 12.  Anyhow, I came to my room the other morning, and was met up by a nice note on a poster board from Rooshkie...this is what it said:
     My Goals
        Topic: a phone
Why should I have a phone:  In my eyes a phone is not a toy, it is a tool.  Going into 7th grade I will be doing many activities.  It will be difficult to communicate with you and keep you in contact.  I know you don't think I'm ready, but I know I am.  I feel I'm very responsible and take care of my things.  I know there are bad things on the internet and there always will be.  But I do my best to stay away from those things.  I would use my phone to good use by reading/listening to my scriptures every night!  It is harder for me to pull out my Book of Mormon/ Bible and read them.  I feel that by having a phone it would become easier for me.  Also during this hard time I would like to keep in contact with my cousins and loved ones.  I know your worried I will never get off it if you let me have one.  You probably think I'll be glued.  But I promise you, I won't because you know how I had that laptop.  At first I was glued. But after awhile, I let it go.  You are the best mom anyone could ask for.  I know you will always do what's best for me.  PLEASE CONSIDER it is very important to me.  I LOVE YOU!  PLEASE KNOW I AM VERY STRONG TOWARDS THIS.  I THINK I'VE EARNED IT!
                                                                            Love,
                                                                                 Jerusha Bundy
    Still not happening for my Rooshkie girl, unfortunately

    

     Today we are struggling.  Dill is nothing but sad, sad, sad.  Sad and upset by the fact that I won't let her climb on the countertop and eat a whole jar of Nutella.  Sad, that she and Mo just aren't getting along.  I have some work to do where Dill is concerned.  Somehow, I have to get her happy, and with Dill that usually isn't too difficult.
     We only have two days left of school, and I look at the whole of summer, and panic.  We should be camping, and working, and that was Ryan's domain.  I don't know how to drag a trailer, or hitch up a tractor, and somehow I must keep the kids busy and doing good.  It really scares me.  Ryan especially could get Oak to work, and I just cannot seem to get him motivated.  He always had that desire to please his Dad.  I don't think he could care either way with me.  He just wants to fight with his sisters over every little issue, and be fed pretty much non-stop.  I am going to need heaven's help to get through the summer months, or maybe Ryan's.  I hope he gets released soon.  I might just go insane if he does not.
     We have had a busy weekend.  Last Thursdee Ivers graduated from high school, and so I took the opportunity to go down, and be there.  It is always so much fun to be with my brothers and their families, and they were all going to be there.  Laughfest 2016 was about to ensue, and I desperately needed to laugh for a few days.  So, I pulled the kids out of school on Thursday, and we departed Bunkerville.  The trip down was surprisingly kinda quiet.  The four older girls got into a knock-down drag out fight about the front seat after I stopped for lunch in Kingman.  It was so absolutely ridiculous, that I didn't want to get involved at all.  It went on and on with all of them being equally stubborn.  It is times like that, that I honestly do not know what to do.  I don't care at all where they sit, and if I take someone's side, then the other three are convinced that I play favorites.  I can't stand it.
     We drove on and on, and at one point I let Moroni out to go to the bathroom behind a large bush.  He chose to stand in front of the bush, and face the road as he peed.  This is so mind boggling that I don't even know what to say.  Needless to say, he doesn't care a whole lot about modesty yet.
     The graduations down there are always nice.  They are outdoors and casual.  The kids found a sand pit that is used by the track team, and began frantically making a very large mound out of sand.  There were a few boys that challenged my kids, and a few of Doug's to a mound building contest.  The dust just started to fly and turn part of the air around a nearby crowd into a dust cloud.  I walked over several times to ask them to keep the sand stirring down to a minimum, but it all fell on deaf ears.  They were determined to beat the boys with a bigger mound and they definitely succeeded.  I was flabbergasted a few times, when Oak and Mo would scale an eight foot tall, chain link fence to get a drink of water, but they are country boys and used to scaling fences...I don't know what else to say.
     The night was full of a fitful Mo.  He had a toothache, and I did everything I could think of to ease his pain.  I had an appointment for him to get it fixed, but that didn't help me at the moment.  He didn't sleep good at all.  The kids got up and hit the pool at like nine.  They stayed out there all day long.  I kept hounding them about sunscreen, and I kept the little ones covered pretty good, but Wams and Sags ended up getting pretty fried.  Wams had also borrowed my swimming suit because she had failed to bring hers for some odd reason.  That left me swimming in my clothes for the day.  I just can't be sexy or attractive, I swear.  That night, we had a barbecue at Gary's and that was a ton of fun.  My brothers all got telling mission stories and they were hilarious.  Huxti somehow got bit by a no legged dog...I am not even sure how that can be accomplished, unless you place your leg in their mouth.  We laughed over some of the funny traditions of Ecuador too.  If you buy a drink of juice or whatever, they ring you up, and want the bottle back.  They then pour your drink in a garbage sack, and stick a straw in it for you???  Yeah, I could laugh about this stuff for hours.
      Once again, no sleep for Mo and he howled so loud most of the night that I worried about getting kicked out of our room.  The next day the kids once again got in the pool, and then we went to Gary's for awhile, and we visited with Trevor and Angie.  They had just bought a new house and their pool had a slide...even Dill appreciated the slide.  I had a great visit with those two, and they have been a ton of help through our whole ordeal with Ryan and the other men.  Trevor has been doing his best to try and save Ammon's business from complete failure in Phoenix.  They also bought me a plane ticket to fly up and see Ryan.  That was a huge blessing.
     I was able to go to dinner with my brothers that night, and it was so absolutely funny.  We had such a good evening laughing about stuff from our past, and it was worth the whole trip.  When we went to bed, once again, Mo struggled. 
     The next morning, Mo was in so much pain, and none of my temporary fixes were helping.  I decided that I just needed to get him home.  We attended sacrament meeting, and he bawled from Mesa to home...seven hours straight.  I finally got in touch with the dentist, and even though it was a holiday, he agreed to meet me first thing in the morning.  I had done everything that I could think to do to help him, and it was so hard to be patient with all of the crying.  I got thinking that I really needed to get him a Priesthood blessing somehow...just to help him get through the night.  I was wondering who I could ask, when my home teacher called.  He felt that he needed to check on me.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I tearfully told him that Moroni needed a blessing, and he agreed to come over as soon as I got home.  He arrived as soon as I texted him with his son-in-law.  They gave Moroni a beautiful blessing, and I cried the whole way through it.  I needed a witness that God cared, and I definitely got it.  Mo fell asleep within the hour, and slept all night, until I roused him early the next morning to go and meet the dentist.  He had a great time getting his tooth fixed.  He loved it, and couldn't wait to go back...over this, I am way confused.  If a root canal can get him all kinds of happy, I fear that he needs more fun and excitement in his life.
     Ok...so that evening, I made some taco salad for dinner.  I have tomatoes out of the garden, and the salsa is just so out of this world.  Chloee frowned when I cooked it all though.  She didn't want any of it.  I tried to talk her into just eating some meat and cheese but she continued to frown.  As I was sitting and rocking Dill she came over with the carton of eggs.  She begged me to cook her one.  I get way frustrated with all of her food nonsense, but an egg?  It is way good for her, probably better than the taco salad.  I agreed to cook her one as soon as I had a second.  Well, for whatever reason, she took the eggs up to my room and set the eggs on my bed to wait for my arrival???  I still have no idea why she did that.  Anyhow, in the mean time Dill had toddled back up the stairs and climbed up on my bed to see a wonderful surprise in her little world.  She took all of those eggs and proceeded to crack them in various and strategic areas all over my bed.  I am still mad about Chlo over that whole situation.  Gooey eggs and shells everywhere.
     The next day when I picked up the kids from school, it was so hot and miserable.  They begged me to take them to the headgate to swim.  I finally consented, and the kids, especially Dill had a ball.  She would just jump in the sand and splash.  When we arrived back at home, some kind soul had dropped dinner off.  Spaghetti, bread, salad, and donuts.  Donuts are not something I usually buy and the kids were so excited.  Well, Chlo was just not ok with eating the spaghetti.  She just wanted a donut.  I explained, like a good mom would that she needed to eat some dinner first.  With Chlo it just all falls on deaf ears.  She bawled and bawled and howled.  At this point, Mo had finished several plates of the delicious spaghetti and was just orange-all over his face.  He had also selected a nice donut, and was loving to show it off to Chlo.  In fact, he chased her all over the house with the donut, as she bawled and bawled.  I finally got her to eat some garlic bread, and then she could have a donut of her own.  Here is another kicker.  The kids all got in my bed to watch Arthur after dinner.  I had just changed all of my bedding because of the lovely egg incident.  They got sand from the river all over in my bed, and all over in my bathtub.  I thought that perhaps I could sleep in my sandy bed and dream that I was on the beach...yeah it didn't happen.  I just need to change my bedding again.  And the sandy bathtub?  Totally not a beach simulation either.
     The next problem that occurred is that Jamie took something of Oak's.  Some prized possession.  He was frantic to get it back, and went in her room, and threw all of Jerusha's shoes everywhere in his frantic search.  Jerusha was naturally upset about this, but he refused to put her shoes back, until Jamie gave him his possession back ( I think it was a squirt bottle?)  What kind of convoluted sense does that even make?
     Another problem that I had with Dill this week, was that she got into some pudding...the boxed powder.  She opened it up and dusted herself with it.  She also dumped it in the drain tray on the fridge.  A mess that I forget about until I go to open the fridge, and then see it there...again, and not cleaned up.