I have got to do better.  It is so hard to juggle everything these days, and I try to get letters out.  The letters are keeping somewhat of a record, but I know that I will miss reading about my kids and all of their activities.  I am hoping to fill in some of the gaps later.  I also have to be extremely careful about what I write, because they will try to use it against Ryan in court.  I will try to stick with the kids and their stuff for that reason, but it is a daily occurance that someone is crying and missing their dad.  Me included.  I had no idea how much I took him for granted.  He did so many things to keep the kids and I going, and I didn't even notice it all before.  Yesterday, I finally lowered my pride enough to call a family friend to come and unclog all of my drains.  Ryan always did that.  My washing machine wasn't draining and bath tubs weren't draining.  When I texted Shem Teerlink, I made it sound like it was no big deal, and no big rush.  But, a batch of clothes was taking four and five hours, which is kind of an emergency with as much laundry as there is to do.  He didn't put things off, but was on my doorstep with tools within the hour.  To top it all off, Ryan called while he was here and was able to discuss some of his tractors with him, and work out a deal where another tractor can possibly be earning me some money.  I could tell, that talking to Shem really boosted his spirits, and made him feel like he was providing for his family again.  He had been really struggling over the past few days.  So many people answer so many prayers.  I also had two dinners dropped off by ward members last night.  This happens so often.  You know that you are blessed when you have two and three people dropping off a dinner in a single evening.  I don't even know how to express appreciation enough.  And this, after I told the Relief Society president that I was fine, and no help was really needed.  I am so glad that she didn't listen to me.  There have been so many nights that I have come home from court, or had activities with the youth, or kids when dinner was going to be a difficult thing to juggle.  Especially after court, I want to crawl in bed for several days and not deal with anything.  But, I usually come home to a dinner on my countertop, and my house cleaned up.  I have learned so much about service through all of this.  I only hope that I can be as thoughtful as other people have been.
     Since I last wrote, Dilly has been taking her messes to a whole new level.  Last night, for example, she found a bowl of ramen noodles.  I was  a little grossed out be her desire for the ramen, because they had been sitting on the counter for a bit, and ramen soaks up the water and becomes a greasy, and undesirable mess.  But, I knew it had enough salt in it, that it wouldn't hurt her, and so I warmed it up a bit and set it in front of her on the table.  A few moments had gone by when I heard Jamie getting after her.  I looked over from my dishes to see her flinging the bits of greasy mess as far and as wide as they would fly.  All over the place.  I don't know if you've ever tried to clean up greasy ramen noodles, but it is a huge problem.  They smear and grease all over.  I finally decided to just let them dry, and sweep them up the next day.  I never would have made that decision ten years ago, but after about four kids you learn to lower your pride and let things go a bit.  This morning, it is sweeping up nicely.  No more ramen for Dilly. 
     Another thing that Dill has been doing that makes me frown is coloring on every single surface she can find.  When I flew up to Portland a few weeks ago, the kids must have just let her have free reign over recoloring everything.  Luckily it all cleaned up nicely, but everything from the floors, to the walls, to the windows had her cute little scrawl on them.  She gets a really serious look on her face when she feels the need to color.  It really ticks her off, if I remove her pen from her grubby little fingers.  She also likes to take the pen and color fine looking marks all over her arms and legs, and this just makes her look unkempt and kinda sloppy.  I will usually stick her in the bath at that point, but her latest bathtub games include emptying the bath water onto the floor, so her baths are cut short.  She gets this real serious look on her face as she finds a container to fill, and then pour out on the floor.  I scream, and beg her to stop, but she looks at me like I am kinda crazy to want her to stop such important work.
     Because of Dill and Chlo, Mo's little male ego has been struggling a bit as well.  All of these females seem to know how to put poor Mo in his place, and he does not deal well with it at all.  The first incident that I saw was with little Jaylee.  She and Mo had been fighting all morning because Moroni had just been given some new toys for his birthday, and he wasn't wanting to share them.  He was being way selfish about it.  Jaylee finally just hit him on the head with a stick when he refused to share his new scooter with her.  He was so broken up about this incident.  He came in crying and needing reassurance.  I held him, and let him know that it was all going to be ok.  I told him that if he would share his things, Jaylee would be more likely to treat him better, and then I kindly asked her not to hit Mo Mo with sticks.  She was quite defiant and mad...(seriously, little Bailey).  He just couldn't take it.  He was crushed.  He cried and cried and finally fell asleep in my arms.  Well, Dill was with him in the bath the other day.  I do not know why, but she threw a block right at his face.  It was mean and unexpected from cute Dill.  He looked at me like he could not believe it.  Once again, some female had hurt him badly, and he just couldn't deal with it.  Back to bed he went ...poor Mo.  He is currently living in a woman's world. He tells me nonstop about how much he misses his Dad.  It is no wonder with block-throwing Dill on the loose.  Chlo can also ruin his day by refusing to play with him.  He just cannot take it.  I have told him over and over to just play with someone else and move on.  He cannot get over it.  He begs me to force her to play with him...Mo has a ton to learn about females, and I cannot say that he will ever figure it out completely.  I don't have it figured out myself.
     We have had the fair since I wrote last, and Mo got really sick there for a little while.  He came in my room claiming that his arm was really bored because it had been stuck under a blanket for awhile.  He crawled up on the bed beside me, and I could tell immediately that he was burning up.  He got demanding bananas, and whimpered because he couldn't stand all of the wiggling.  He was the one wiggling, and I just kept telling him to stop, if he couldn't stand it.