Saturday, May 21, 2016

     A new year, and a crazy life to put it mildly!  Our New Years was way quiet this year, and I can honestly say that Ryan was snoring soundly at 7:30.  Wams went to the youth dance that was held in Ivins, and the kids stayed up watching spooky movies.  I was touched though, because a few years ago, the kids had spent new years paryting with Cliven, and he was who they wanted to party with.  He actually did invite them down to party with him, but I also knew that he hadn't been feeling very well, and so I told them that they could stay home.  They didn't seem to mind our quiet New Years celebration too much.  I am usually tired of partying by the time that New Years hits.
     Right after New Years, we were contemplating having Ryan go to Oregon.  Ammon had been trying to help a family up there that had been abused by the BLM for years.  They were supposed to report to federal prison for the second time for the same crime.  Anyhow, all of the atrocities are way too much to even cite here, but needless to say, Ammon had felt like he should get involved.  They were holding a peaceful protest the day before the Hammonds were supposed to report.  Anyhow, Ryan and I got up one morning during Christmas break and went to the temple.  We had a great session, and I felt like Ryan should probably go.  He felt the same way, and when he called Ammon, he actually asked Ryan to come up.  So, that was that.  He was supposed to be gone for three days and I packed him a small bag.  The kids and I said our goodbyes and he rode up with Booda and LaVoy Finicum and a few others.  A peaceful protest made me a little nervous because Ammon had been recieving death threats since getting involved.  I was anxious, to hear from him.  The next morning, Jazz was supposed to go and help set up pig pens for the county fair that is coming up in the spring.  It went toward her service project for 4-H.  I was a little nervous because my van had been running crappy, but I knew that Cliven or Arden would come and rescue me if need be.  Anyhow I was trying not to be a nervous wreck, but I was grateful for the work.  It was physical and a lot of lifting and putting pens together like jig-saw puzzles.  It was a beautiful distraction.  The Lee's were there and they offered to keep Jazz so that she and Kinzlee could hang out for the day while they went and picked up their show pigs for the fair.  I ended up riding home alone.  Before I left, I texted Ryan and asked how things were.  I told him to stay warm and to stay safe.  I get a text back that stated that it was going to be next to impossible to accomplish either one of those requests.??? I knew it was -8, so I understood the cold thing, but since when is a peaceful protest dangerous?  I had tried to tell myself that it wasn't.  I got a flurry of demanding texts from him for the rest of the afternoon instructing me to get our life insurance back in order.  We had been trying to get a new policy, and everything was in place except for the payment.  I calmly explained that I was sure he could take care of all of that when he was a Saturday, after all.  More and more angry and demanding texts to take care of it one way or another.  Of course, this had me way unsettled...what in the world was going on???  I did get it taken care of, thanks to Bailey and her assistance.  Needless to say that my nerves were shot wondering what in the hay was going down.
     Next thing I know, is that I hear news reports that the Bundy's and some militia members have taken over a federal building....yeah, not what I had planned for him.  He, Mel, and Ammon had come to a federal building.  The doors were open, and the heat was on.  It was not posted anywhere that it was illegal to trespass, and so they went in and occupied the place.  Next thing I know...all heck has broken loose.
    Just for posterity purposes, I would like to say, that I believe in our stance at Bundy ranch wholeheartedly.  I had had years to prepare and gear up for it, and when our stand-off happened, I was way surprised at all of the people that showed up to help and all of the media hype that it got.  Well, this was crazier because people (myself included) just didn't see it coming.  It was all I could do, the next day to keep from hyperventilating.  We were having a family fast over the situation, and I just couldn't calm myself down.  I couldn't listen to the news reports or deal with what was going on.  I finally just blocked it all out, and took my kids to shrsh.  The kids were clueless about the situation to a large degree.  I had asked all of them that were over eight to pray and fast with me about the Oregon situation, but yeah, they didn't understand the weight of things for sure.  They were still naughty and I had to about bap Jazz and Oak on the head for fist fighting in Sacrament meeting.  I put on a nice and quiet front even though I was dying to know what was going on with my husband.  No one at church said a word to me, even though I knew that the happenings in Oregon were all over the news.  When I was getting ready to leave, a brother in the ward stopped me and informed me that he and his boys were going to come over that afternoon and chop my wood for me.  I immediately had to leave because it made me cry.  I hate asking anyone for help, and I was out of chopped wood.  I was way touched, and way grateful when he showed up and stacked my chopped wood neatly by the cement wall. I was grateful that he listened to the spirit, and didn't just wonder what was needed...he didn't make excuses because it was the Sabbath or anything.  He just showed up, and took care of it.  I had gone out and tried to chop the wood myself because I am so stubborn.  My next plan was to ask Arden for help, but I will forever be grateful for Brother Easton and his response to the spirit.
     As the next few days crawled by, I heard from Ryan a few times.  Our conversations were very guarded because he figured that we were being listened to.  The church came out with a statement about the fact that they had not sanctioned the Oregon situation.  This upset me to a large degree because I know that the church is true and I wholeheartedly sustain the prophet.  I also calmed down, and understood why they had said what they did...I mean, they can't have all of it's members coming out and taking over federal buildings after all.  That day was way upsetting.  I would pray and feel peace and then something else would happen that would make me all anxious again.  I couldn't focus on anything, and my laundry and dishes began to pile up.  All of this time, I had numerous people offer assistance and help.  My brother Gary called and offered his wife to come and help me, and looking back, I wished I would have taken him up on it.  I just hate people having to leave home for me after all.  Anyhow, I did calm myself and finally begin to feel the calm and peace of the spirit.  I do have to say that my neighbors and ward members began to step in and help with all kinds of things.  I was way touched because some of them, I know don't understand or even support some of the things we are doing.  That didn't stop people from praying for us and assisting me where they could see a need.  The Lee's brought me dinner that week, Bailey brought me pizza one night, and Jodi Hughes also dropped off dinner a night.  Jodi also watched my children and so I could attend the temple.  That temple session was incredible.  I felt a stronger spirit that day, then I have felt in a long time.  Joy Haviland attended with me, so I wouldn't be alone.  Good people everywhere.
     On Tuesday evening I had a huge scare.  Ryan texted and asked me to gather the family to pray.  I immediately did so.  This brought me anxiety because I wondered why.  A half hour later he asked me to spread it far and wide that fervent prayers were desperately needed.  I once again, gathered the kids, and prayed.  I had each of them take turns saying a prayer, and then I urged them to pray again for their dad individually.  I also posted it on the Bundy family communication site, and I posted it on facebook.  I was a basket case because I didn't know what was going on, but I knew something was very wrong.
     About that time Bailey texted me to check on me.  I asked her if Josh was home, and could possibly give me a blessing.  She needed one too because she is pregnant and her blood pressure was through the roof.  Her doctor told her that she needed to lower the stress level in her life somehow.  She did not have a clue how to calm herself down.  Anyhow, she told me that Josh was working late, but that Colton Teerlink had offered her one earlier.  I told her to ask if he would give us both one.  She texted back and said that he was willing.  Wams had taken the van but was on her way home, and I began walking to Bunkerville.  A light rain had been falling all week, and it was a beautiful night.  I tried to calm my nerves as I quickened my pace on the state road.  Finally she showed up and picked me up.  We went to Bailey's house and I left Wams and Sags in the car because they had studying to do, and because I wanted to shelter them somewhat from the severity of the situation.  Shem, Cheryl, Megan and Colton were already waiting for my arrival.  Shem pronounced a blessing on my head, and he blessed me with peace, with the ability to take care of my children, listen to the spirit, and carry on.  He blessed me to be able to sleep ( I had yet, to get hardly any since the incident went down) and he also told me that what was happening in Oregon was in God's hands, and that He would take care of things.  As soon as his hands hit my head, I felt the peace I had been seeking, and it strengthened me from that point on.
     Another day, I get a bill from Chloee's back pack.  It is from the school explaining that I owed them $2.00 for a lunch or a breakfast somewhere.  Now, I feed my kids breakfast every day, and I always pack them a lunch.  Sometimes those lunches end up hidden in various parts of my house if Chlo decides she doesn't want to eat them, but they are sent with one every day just the same.  I called the school to inquire further.  I asked them if they had served a plate of cheetos for lunch one day because otherwise, I couldn't imagine Chloee eating whatever it was that they  had served.  I finally asked Chlo and she confessed that she had wanted a bowl of cereal one morning.  Whatever Chlo...I knew that you would have been way too scared to try any of their cafeteria dishes.  Two dollars definitely wasn't worth fighting over, but I knew that there had to be more to that story.
     Mo has been on a toast kick.  One day he asked me for a piece of toast, and I was busy getting Dilly down, and so I explained to  him how to place a piece of bread in the toaster.  I told him that once the bread had popped up, I would explain how to butter it, and put some cinnamon and sugar on it.  Well, he was thrilled with the toasting part.  He was putting piece after piece in and putting them all over the house.  He never tried to put anything on the toasted bread, and so yeah, we just had unwanted toast all over the place.  Needless to say, that it wasn't helpful on my bread supply.  Another day, he begged for a piece of toast with jelly.  So,  I toasted a fresh piece of bread and put some pomegranite jelly on it.  He threw a huge fit, and explained that he didn't want the jelly on the toast...he wanted it in a bowl so he could eat it on the side.  I had to just walk away from that whole situation.  I mean, what kind of a mom would hand their kid a bowl of jelly?  Since Ryan has been gone he has insisted on sleeping by me with his stuffed elephant too.  Yeah, I don't have too much ability to argue with him much.

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